Make It Hurt
by NervousxBreakdown
Summary: Craig/Tweek. There is nothing more that Craig loves in this world then Tweek... but drugs aren't too far behind...
1. Dark Past

**Disclamer: Okay, i dont own South Park. I know it, and i think you all know it too. But just to be safe, i would hate to be sued...**

Yah, its a little bit dry right now. I know everyone is into more "hard core" things, but have faith in me. Ive only just begun.

But i had to get this started somehow, get to know a little bit of Craig's backstory of his screwed up life.

I love angst.

_

* * *

__Maybe it was the way he kissed me, or the way he made me feel like everything would be alright in this fucked up thing I call a "life". I was actually convinced Tweek Tweak was in love with me. Fuck, how much I wished that was true, but he never let me inside that messed up head of his anymore..._

I lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. After another long, stressful day at school it was just what I needed to calm my nerves. School had become virtually pointless to me since I entered high school. I stopped paying attention in classes, which dramatically lowered my grades, which caused a lot more problems at home, but I didn't care anymore.

I got tired of caring a long time ago.

My life at home couldn't get any more worse to me anyway. Shortly after middle school, my mom took off with some guy, and my dad became an abusive alcoholic. Since my sister became a total slut in her junior year and obeys to my fathers every command, I get the most of his abuse. Im getting so sick and tired of coming to school all bruised up with the councillor acting like he's my "best friend" or some stupid shit.

Most of the time I'm too drunk or stoned to even notice. Drugs have become my new escape from reality. It started when I found my parents secret pot stash in the basement when I was around 9. Pot only did good for so long though, I needed something harder; that would get me farther away from life. Cocaine, LSD, meth; hell I'll try anything once. I guess it would be a lot easier on me if I knew it didn't hurt Tweek so much.

I started dating him around eight grade, after a major fight we had. It was full of pathetically sappy depression, confessions in the gayest nature possible and a romantic first kiss in the rain. It was so beautiful I probably could have wrote a book and made millions. Our relationship use to be like a scene from "The Notebook", but lately Tweek has been holding out on me, getting more and more distant. I never know what that guy is thinking...

"C-Craig. I think your smoke is about out." I turned around to see Tweek with a smile on his face. God he was beautiful when he smiled.

I looked down at my smoke and noticed it was down to the filter. I was so lost in my thoughts I only took one drag.

"Oh yah, I guess your right." I flicked the cigarette down to the ground, slung my arm around Tweek's neck and began to walk away from the school, thankful for the weekend.

Tweek giggled. "G-god Craig, maybe you should c-cut back a bit. You smell like smoke."

Hearing Tweek laugh made me smile. Ever since Kyle and Stan came out to the entire school by showing their "love" for each other, or in other words full on making out, in the hallway one day; people started coming out of the closet like crazy.

Not like it was that hard to tell, but Wendy and Bebe came out only about a week after Kyle and Stan. After that I felt like me and Tweek didn't have to hide it anymore. Besides everyone in this school knows its better not to fuck with me. I wont say in the most muscular guy in the school. Shit I'm fucking thin as hell, but I still have muscles from those years off being a preppy jock on the football team in middle school.

That's not what gets people though, one day I got into a major fight with Clyde and he spread a rumor around the school that I stabbed someone. Ever since that people have been scared of me. Not that I care, because of that fact and the fact that I'm the one dating Tweek; nobody picks on him anymore.

People use to pick on Tweek a lot, since he still shakes and cant button up his shirts properly. He deserves better then that shit, fuck he deserves better then anything I can ever give him. I really want to make sure he's happy and has a good life. I know that I cant give that to him, but for some reason he still stays with me...

"Craig, you've been zoning out a lot today... what's up?" I looked down at Tweek and saw his green eyes looking up at me with a sad expression on his face. Fuck that look could almost make me cry.

"Nothing, really. You know that if I was having problems you'd be the first one to know, right?" He nodded and I just had to kiss him. Its been so long since we have been this happy around each other, but I had to know that wouldn't last much longer.

Kenny McCormick practically leaped out of the bushes and scared me and Tweek half to death. At least that made Tweek grab onto my arm and pull himself in closer to me.

"Craig! Did you hear about Clyde's party tonight? I know you guys aren't on that great of terms right now, but its going to be insane you have to come!"

Kenny was talking way to fast, he always did when he was excited. At least its easier to understand him now that he lost his giant orange sweater and decided to just wear a simple, normal hoodie. Still orange though, that color looked damn good on him. Since he didn't wear it up, you could see his messy blonde hair and blue eyes and it made him pretty damn sexy. Kenny was bi, and I swear to god if I wasn't completely in love with Tweek, or fucked up at a party sometime he would be the first one I'd go to for a fuck.

"Yah, I was thinking about crashin that anyway, I'll be there tonight."

"B-but Craig, d-don't we have plans tonight?"

I looked down at Tweek. Fuck, I forgot I made dinner plans with him tonight. But, I needed my fix badly. Its been almost 2 days since I've had any sort of drug, and I was craving badly.

"Sorry Tweek, maybe we can do it some other time? Why don't you come to the party with me tonight. I'm sure the look on Clyde's face will be priceless when he see's me there anyway."

"S-sure, I guess... that could be fun." I fucking hated it when Tweek looked sad. It made my heart feel like it was being stabbed a thousand times. I love him; I really do, but I need my drugs.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure I definitely make some time for just you and me soon, alright?"

"Great! Well I'll see you there then. Bye Tweek. Bye... _Craig_." Kenny just had to say my name in that seductive tone. He knew I thought he was hot, and he loved to rub it in my face.

"Are... are you sure this is a good idea Craig. I'm worried about you..." I knew exactly what he was talking about. I agree that I'm taking this whole drug thing out of proportion, but it made me happy for that short moment. Almost like when I'm on top of Tweek.

It looked like he was going to burst out into tears, I had to do something to get that look off his face.

I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer to me until my lips touched his. He gasped at the sudden movement and I took that as my opportunity to stick my tongue in and play with his. He made a slight moan and put his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him. After a few minutes of sucking face; trying to avoid the awkward stares coming from people passing by, I ended the kiss and Tweek gasped for air.

"Don't worry. See, im _fine_" I smiled and put my arm back around his neck. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I thought I told you no more making out in public" Tweek was bright red, which made him look even cuter.

I bursted out laughing as we kept on walking.

_He's the only one that can make me smile._


	2. Drugs make it better

****

Disclamer: Once again, i dont own South Park. If i did, it would be just as it was right now... only better.

Im starting to write longer chapters. This one was fun... not as angsty as i wanted it to be.

But its sweeter, and i guess i need one of those.

And yes, i have done drugs. I love drugs, so i know what im talking about.

Heroin is alot of fun... even though Craig didnt seem very effected by it in this chapter.

And i finally got around to changing the POV a couple of times, it makes it more interesting... dont yah think?

**I also do not own Death Cab, aswell if i did... they would be playing in my basement every night.**

_Champagne From a Paper Cup - Death Cab_

_We Look Like Giants - Death Cab_

This chapter also seems to involve alot of Craig/Kenny. Dont know how the hell that started to happen.

I aint that big of a fan, but its kind of hot.. you know?

* * *

Clyde's parties were always completely insane. Alcohol, drugs and sex were easily found everywhere. I never knew how he hid it from his parents.

I walked in the back door holding Tweek's hand tightly. He is always nervous in a big group of people. I searched the room for what I knew I needed; drugs. That's the only reason I was there, if it wasn't for them I would be out for dinner with Tweek right now instead of inside this noisy house with a whole bunch of people I hated from school.

As we walked through the house we saw that mostly everyone was already wasted. Token and Rebecca were grinding up on the dance floor, and once again Cartmen was trying to hook up with Butters, who everyone thought would end up gay but actually is one of the only straight kids left in South Park. I looked up at the staircase and saw Kyle and Stan wobbling up them, probably going to find an empty room.

Smoke was rising from behind the door of one of the room. I could definitely smell that is was pot, and even if I wasn't looking for anything as calming as marijuana I bet they knew were I could get some harder stuff. I paused and put my hands on Tweek's shoulders.

"Tweek, I'm gonna go in there. I want you to wait out here, alright? Go have a drink, enjoy yourself or something and if anyone touched you, tell them I'll kick their ass."

Tweek nodded and walked towards the kitchen as I entered the smokey room. There was a giant bong on the table with a couple people from school sitting around, and a couple people I didn't know. I saw Kenny sitting with them, blood shot eyes and laughing loud at a lame joke somebody told. If I could get drugs anywhere he would know.

"Hey Kenny" I smiled as I walked up behind him, he turned around and smiled back.

"Hey Craig, how's it going?" Kenny rose up from the couch, put his arms around my neck and pulled his face just inches from my own. Sometimes it was so hard to resist him, but he was nothing compared to my Tweek.

"I need something harder then this shit, you know were I can get any?" Secretly, I hated asking Kenny for drugs. He would always joke around with me saying only if I would fuck him, and I knew he was joking but I bet one day he's going to end up being serious. I also thought I would end up whoring myself out for drugs, but not well I'm dating Tweek.

"Well, because you came so **late** most of it is gone. But because I knew you would show up, I saved you some heroin." Kenny pulled a plastic bag and a needle out of his back pocket and handed me the white powder that oddly reminded me of cocaine.

"Thanks Kenny, I'm going to head up to the bathroom now."

"Why don't you say down here with me?" Kenny pulled my waist closer to him, and it was obvious to tell that he had done a little bit too much ecstacy that night.

"Sorry, but I'd rather be alone right now" After prying his hands away from me, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer and headed upstairs.

Luckily the bathroom wasn't being occupied; I entered and locked the door behind me. I could hear squeaking and moaning coming from the rooms around me and had to smile. I love these parties.

I sat down on the floor and took out the spoon, my lighter, the needle and the packet of heroin from my pocket. After putting a bit of the heroin on the spoon, I put my lighter underneath it and waited for the heroin to heat up before putting the newly formed liquid into the syringe. I took off my belt that I put on for exactly this reason, tied it around my upper arm and put the needle in. It was hard to find a spot that was not already sore and opened from all the other times I've done this, but that's something Tweek doesn't need to see. It didn't take long after injecting it in that I could feel the effects kicking in. I felt lighter, and happier. I wanted more, not even caring anymore if it was too much. I did it again and again until I finally felt nothing at all. The packet was almost empty.

I jumped as somebody knocked on the bathroom door, almost spilling the rest of the sweet powder out of the package.

"Craiiiggggg, you in there?" A familiar voice called to me at the opposite side of the door, it was Kenny.

I slowly got up, and after stabilizing myself opened the door and Kenny entered. He looked down and the packet and his eyes got wider.

"Barely even saved any for me now, huh?" Kenny sat down and took the bag of heroin and started to sprinkle it on the spoon. I locked the door behind me and went to sit with him, watching the way the heroin turned into a yellowish-bubbly liquid as it was heated up.

Kenny grabbed my belt and injected himself with the poison. We both started laughing as he took the needle out and carefully covered the sore spot with his hand, not that any of this was overly funny.

Suddenly I saw Kenny look at me with intense eyes. It was either the drugs or that look on his face but I couldn't move. The next thing I know Kenny is on my lap and we're making out. Nothing mattered at this moment, I was drugged up and wanted any form of love I could find. I pushed Kenny down onto the floor and climbed on top of him. I rubbed my tongue against his lower lip and he obeying by opening it for me to enter. I felt my hand slowly traveling up his shirt and as he slightly moaned the only thing I could think of was, what was Tweek doing?

--

I looked around the kitchen at everyone, drunk and out of control. There was someone throwing up in the sink, someone passed out of the floor and everyone was drinking; we were almost out. I could feel myself getting drunk, everything was spinning and I had a bad taste in my mouth. Honestly I don't even like drinking, I just needed to occupy myself so that I wouldn't interrupt Craig. I hates drugs, but he loved them so I had to learn to live with them. I took another drink from my cup and coughed. I put way to much rum into this; it tasted sick. I could hear music playing in the background, and I knew it immediate was Death Cab. I loved that band, and so did Craig. It was one of the first things we ever had in common growing up. I never thought I would hear them at a party though.

"_A sad-sorry state, stutter step to those slammin' grooves  
As I'm waiting around for you..."_

Death Cab almost seemed to know me better then I knew myself.

I walked up the stairs, more like wobbled up the stair, in search for Craig. He never liked me being around when he was doing drugs, but I wanted to see him. Death Cab was our band, we should at least be together for it. I caught myself against a wall before falling over, the alcohol was finally kicking in and I was a lot drunker then before.

"CRAIG!" I yelled at the top of my lungs before I fell to the ground. I needed to find the bathroom, I had to throw up...

--

Hearing my name being shout out by what seemed to be an angel stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked down at a high Kenny, looked into his bloodshot eyes and realized what just happened. I pushed myself up off of Kenny and stood up.

"W-what are you doing CRAIG!!" Kenny jumped up and grabbed my arm. I shook him off.

"I love Tweek, Kenny. And I always will."

Kenny looked crush as I exited the bathroom. Kenny was hot, but he wasn't Tweek. Tweek was beautiful, and Kenny was just a quick fuck. That's all he would ever mean to me, and maybe when Tweek finally realized how pathetic and unimportant I am and dump me, then I would give Kenny a chance. But as long as Tweek still said he loved me, I would be with him.

I walked out into the hallway and saw Tweek kneeling on the floor, one hand on the wall and the other on his stomach.

"I-I think I needa t-throw up..."

I looked down at him in shock.

_What have I done?_

--

I felt strong arms lift me up and lead me down the stairs. We passed by a group of drunken teens and walked down the other stairs to the bathroom.

"I-I really need to throw up" I could feel something in my throat, and it was making me sick. I didn't know how much longer I could hold it in.

"Hold on a sec Tweekers, we're almost there." I grabbed onto Craig's chest and let him lead me to the bathroom. The second we set foot in there I couldn't hold it in anymore and ran to the toilet. Craig came over to hold back my hair, I needed to cut my hair badly. Not that I would ever go to a hairdresser, they might slip and end up cutting off my ear or something.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt more vomit coming up. This was disgusting, _I _felt disgusting. I was never a big drinker, and I never wanted to be. And this was the exact reason why.

After I was done, Craig pulled me back and hugged me gently in his arms like he was trying not to damage precious merchandise. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. It was going faster then normal. Probably because of the drugs.

"You want to lay down?" I nodded my head as he helped me up, but this time he picked me up and carried me to the nearest bedroom.

I remember being thrown onto the bed, bouncing up from the springs. My stomach started to ache badly so I grabbed at it. I felt Craig move my hands as he lifted up my shirt and started to rub my stomach for me.

"I'm so sorry I let you get like this Tweek." I could feel his hot breath on my ear and it made me twitch. Right now I just craved for Craig, he was all I wanted. I rolled over so I was facing him and placed my hand on his cheek, staring at his lips. They were a pale pink that made his face look even more pale, but that also made his blue eyes more noticeable. His dark eyelashes didn't help that fact either, everything on his face complemented his eyes, making them pop and be the first thing you noticed. He had such beautiful eyes.

"I lwuve you C-Craig..." I started slurring my speech, I didn't want to be drunk right now.

Death Cab came back through the speakers as we stared at each other. Craig pulled me in so his head was resting on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waste. I wrapped my arms around him getting a quick sent of strawberry scented shampoo and cigarettes.

I closed my eyes, and everything suddenly felt right.

--

I laid there in his arms for a couple more minutes, refusing to let go. Then I suddenly got the biggest desire to kiss him.

I lifted my head up and pressed my lips against his. I tried to hold in my eagerness and tried to just simply kiss him, nothing more. I put my hand on his cheek and pushed his face closer to mine, not allowing him to end this moment.

I felt him grab tighter onto my shirt, and found it irresistibly hard to restrain myself. I was in a room alone with him. Ontop of him, kissing him. I wanted more.

I moved to brace myself, my tongue wanting to play with his once again. But accidentally, my leg graced against the sensitive spot between his legs. He let out a slight moan and held onto me tighter.

I rubbed my tongue against his bottom lip, waiting for entry. He opened and I slid my tongue inside, once again dominating. I loved it how he never tried to dominate me.

With my one hand still firmly placed on his cheek, refusing to let him move, I slid my one hand up his shirt, rubbing at his sides. He moaned once again as I continued to explore his body. He was so warm, and he felt so much better then Kenny.

I traced my fingers down his ribs, to his stomach, and down to his hips. His hip bones protruded much to far from his body, yet they seemed very sensitive, since every touch I gave them came with a moan.

I took my lips away from his and started kissing his neck. I sucked on his collarbone and he let out a beautiful moan, this time not being muffled by my lips. He grabbed even tighter onto my shirt, and I could start to feel his nails being pressed into my back through the fabric.

My hands got even more adventurous and started rubbing the inside of his thighs. He started breathing more heavily, and I could start to feel his warm breathes against my ear as I continued to kiss his neck.

I could feel my body reacting, but I didn't want it to stop. With one hand still rubbing his hip, and my lips placed on his neck, my other hand traveled up from his thigh to between his legs.

He let out a gasp as soon as he realized what I was doing. It suddenly turned into a light moan as soon as I started to rub. I continued, trying to think of more ways to make him moan, I loved his voice.

_He'd let out a bigger moan if you actually went inside his pants._

He was wearing loose pants, so it wasn't difficult to enter without having to undo them. I slid my hands inside and started rubbing him skin on skin. He muffled his moan with his own free hand, but I quickly pushed his hand away and pinned it against the mattress and continued to play with him.

My hand started getting wet as he got more turned on. His moans finally started filling the entire room, and I was in heaven.

_Now, only if I could have more._

His moans turned into slight pants as I stopped and started sliding my hand down his legs. Attempting to take off his pants was nothing hard, for they came off quite easily. I didn't take a moment to look, only started to undo my own.

"W-wait, Craig, W-wait."

Tweek started talking between the gasps, but I didn't want to wait. I continued to pull down my pants and got them down to my knees before looking down to realize Tweek passed out. I was disappointed, but smiled. I put his pants back on and laid on the bed, pulling him closer to me. His head slid in between my neck and my shoulder, and I could feel his hot breath on me once again. He gripped my shirt and I wrapped my arms around him.

Death Cab continued to play in the background.

"_The mountain air began to pass  
Through every pane of weathered glass  
And I held you closer  
Than anyone would ever get..."  
_

"I love you too." I whispered as I slowly drifted off...

* * *


	3. Fighting is ALWAYS the Answer

**Disclamer: Yadda yadda yadda, i dont own South Park. Yah, you get it.**

**You'll know if i ever do, Craig's group would be the main characters, and Cartmen would be killed off.**

ANGST.

Finally, alot of angst. This is that i wanted from the beginning... well besides sex.

This chapter actually has alot of hidden meaning to it. Alot of Craig's thoughts in it are actually my own.

I wont say which ones, because nobody cares about hearing about my fucked up life.

I do like Clyde. Making him out to be a total dick is just apart of my plan.

And also, yah... i like torturing Craig okay? Im a sick and twisted person.

I keep having sex and angst in completely different chapters, ill have to combine them someday.

Oh yah, and this chapter has some self-mutilation in it. Dont like it? Dont read it. Just for your own safety.

Enjoy.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of glass breaking. Quickly, I sat up. Tweek groaned as he fell off of my chest and rolled over on his side. I sat staring eye to eye with Clyde.

"What the fuck were you doing here?!" Clyde walked over to me, stepping over his broken coffee cup and grabbed me by the neck of my shirt.

"I thought I told you I didn't want you around me any fucking more!"

"I didn't come here to ruin your fucking party, I just wanted to have some fun. You didn't notice me until the next morning it's a little bit to late to change that fact asshole!"

Clyde use to be my best friend. We did everything together. He was even the first person I talked about being gay to, because he was to. Actually, he was the first guy I ever experimented with. Whenever I slept over at his house, we would secretly make out in his room. I never wanted to date him, he was my best friend and I didn't have any feelings for him besides that. But it was a way to pass the time.

"You knew this would happen though! You knew I would catch you... catch you in **my **bed with some guy! You knew you would piss me off you **always **try to piss me off!"

I saw Clyde's hand forming the shape of a fist. I didn't feel like fighting, but I would if I had to. Besides, I was a bit pissed off at what this dick just said to me.

"Some guy? SOME GUY?! This is my fucking boyfriend, its not just some random guy you fucking dick!"

For some reason, I felt like knocking him out. How dare he call Tweek "some guy". He was my everything, not just some random guy.

"You're the one that fucking snuck into my house, drank all my booze and did all my drugs. You think that shit is free? Well it cost MONEY Craig, A LOT of money. Something YOU would never realize!"

I opened my mouth to begin to talk, but instead felt a sharp pain in my jaw. I was sent flying back onto the bed, and realized that Clyde just punched me. I also realized that he made me fall on top of a still peacefully sleeping Tweek, making him squeak in pain. Not even my ex-best friend had the right to make me hurt my Tweek.

I got up and grabbed Clyde by the collar and pushed him up against the wall. I began to roll my fist into a ball but then looked back at Tweek, remembering how much he hated violence. That gave Clyde too much time to knee me in the stomach. I lost my breath and fell to the ground holding my stomach. Next I felt a swift kick to my face as I was sent sprawling on the floor still gasping for breath. Clyde climbed on top of me and began punching me. I couldn't help it anymore, this became a matter of self defence. I punched Clyde in the nose and heard a click as he fell backward, moaning in pain and holding his nose as he rolled around the floor. I got up and kicked him in the gut, hard. He coughed and grabbed my foot, pulling me down to the ground with me. Once again he was on top of me, punching at any area of me he could get. I started punching too, as we rolled on the floor trying to fight for dominance in this battle. I got a good hit in on his ribs and he burst out with a horrifying scream of pain. I got up and wiped the blood off of my lip, which he got a pretty good hit in because he cracked it.

"I - don't fucking need this - right now Clyde" I was gasping for breath, this wore me out after a fucked up night of drugs.

"Its your - own fucking fault - fuckbag." He grabbed me by the hair and punched me in the face. I pushed him into the dresser and continued to punch him.

"C-Craig?" I turned around at the sound of Tweek's voice, just in time to see a fist pass right by my face, missing me completely, but colliding with Tweek.

Tweek let out a yelp and fell to the ground. He hit him right in cheekbone, and I could already see a bruise forming. This pissed me off even more. Clyde tried to apologise to Tweek, but I threw him down to the ground and punched him with everything I had. His face, his stomach, his legs, whatever I could hit I did it with all the force in my body. I knew he didn't mean too, he wanted to hit me not Tweek, but I couldn't let him get away with that.

"Craig, STOP!" I suddenly felt arms around my waist, and wet tears falling onto my neck. I looked back to see Tweek crying, trying to pull me off of Clyde, a bruise forming on his face.

"No violence, Craig... please, no violence." I looked down at Clyde to see what I did. I was in such a rage that I didn't even remember doing half of what I did. A black eye, broken nose, bruised jaw, cuts all over his face, and I could only imagine what the rest of him looked like. I got up off of Clyde and held a sobbing Tweek in my arms. Sometimes, I really, really hated myself. Even more then usual.

--

We left Clyde's house without even checking if he was okay. Craig basically dragged me out, and I went without a fight. I just wanted to get out of there. I could feel myself still crying, it made me feel like a baby. But ever since I was little, I hated fights. The only fight I have ever been in was against Craig a long time ago in grade 3. That was more pathetic then a fight though, since I tried to learn boxing... but it didn't overly help. And since Cartmen tried to teach Craig sumo wrestling, it wasn't that interesting of a fight. We got into a lot of trouble for that though, we even ended up having to go to the hospital, where we got into another fight. But after that, we got to talking. It ended up his favourite show was Red Racer, and I loved that show. Not my favourite, but it was still a good show. We watched it every night together in that hospital room, we even made ourselves characters in it. If it wasn't for that fight, I wouldn't have ever became friends with Craig, or anything more. So I was quite thankful for that.

Craig gripped my hand tighter as he led my towards my own house. I knew he felt bad, but this has always been who he was. He always ends up getting into a fight, and he always finds the best ways to hurt me.

Craig stopped as soon as we were on my doorstep. He turned back to look at me, and he actually looked sorry. I could see it in his eyes. He put his hand on my cheek, and I jumped back a bit when he rubbed the sore spot on my face. This isn't something I want to tell me parents about, they will end up freaking out, and that's way too much pressure.

I looked up at Craig's face as he was examining mine. His lip was cracked good, and it was still bleeding. It looked like a black eye was forming too, Clyde definitely got him good.

"Im so sorry Tweek." Craig looked down at his feet, he looked ashamed of himself.

I put my arms around him. "Its okay Craig." I wanted to make him feel better.

"Its not okay Tweek! I did it even though I know you hate fighting, and I couldn't even stop myself!" Craig was yelling a little bit, he looked so sad.

"Craig! Really, its alright. I-I know you really didn't want to."

"Im such a fucking disgrace Tweek, I don't fucking deserve anything I've got."

Craig turned away and started walking down my steps.

"Craig!" I wanted him to stay, I needed him here with me right now. I was scared for him.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay Tweek?"

He didn't even turn back around to look at me. He just walked away, head down with his hands stuffed into his pocket. I was so worried, I didn't want him overdosing. But I know its better to let him cool down after. I needed to give him time.

--

It was late at night now. I've been sitting here thinking about Tweek all day, how I hurt him, how I _keep_ hurting him no matter what I do and how hard I try not to. It just seems like my entire existence is hurting him, and no matter what I do I'll never be able to change that.

_You can always just die._

That thought races through my head all the time. That would just hurt Tweek more though, or would it? Maybe, he would be sad for a bit. Maybe he would move on and find someone who could make him truly happy. Maybe his life would be perfect, and all it would take is my death to do that. Maybe I can make him happy after all...

I heard the door open and looked back.

_Fuck._

My dad walked through the door, vodka bottle in hand. He looked over at me and bursted out laughing, almost fell to the ground laughing so hard.

"What the fuck happened to your face you little shit? You look worse then usual!"

This is just what I needed right now to boost my ego. Im sitting here thinking about suicide and now my dad's going to end up pushing me over the edge. I got up from my seat to try to head up the stairs, but he grabbed me by the arm before I even made it to the first step.

"Don't you see I'm talking to you punk? Look at me when I'm fucking talking to you."

He pushed me down to the ground and started to examine my face. He put his hand on my face and pushed down on the bruise forming under my eye. Fuck that hurt, but I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing it. Yet for some reason, he always knew it. He smirked at he stood up, barely being able to... drunk fuck.

"You really got fucked up today huh? Who did it now, your faggot boyfriend?" He laughed as if it was a joke, but I was getting really pissed. I knew better then to talk back to him though, everyone might be scared of me, but the one person I was scared of was my father.

"Maybe this is what you fucking get for ruining my life, you ever think of that? Since your fucking mother hated you so much she left me, and you turned your fucking sister into a fucking whore! Do you have any idea how much better we would be without you around here to waste fucking space? Maybe we could have been a fucking happy family again, me, your mother and your sister! Without you here we would have been fucking perfect!"

He never knew how much his words hurt me. Id rather for him to just beat the shit out of me.

"Maybe if I just fucking killed you, then everything could go back to normal! But that wouldn't be any fun for me now would it? Your not even worth going to jail for! It would be better if you were never even born."

I sat on the ground, and I could feel my eyes burning. I forced the tears back and tried to hide my sadness by glaring at my father, couldn't even stand up straight he was so drunk.

"Your fucking disgusting, get out of here... im tired of looking at your fucking face."

I got up and dashed upstairs. I could feel tears streaming from my eyes, I couldn't even control it this time... but I didn't want him to see me. I slammed the door as I entered the room and slid down to sit on the floor. I covered my eyes with my hands and sobbed. I don't even know how long I was like that, I broke my clock a couple of days ago out of rage.

I looked around my room. Once a peaceful place had definitely turned into one hell of a shithole. There were cigarette butts scattered through out the room, empty liquor bottles and pipes spread out. My clothes were everywhere, and there were holes in my wall from were I needed to release some angry. There was even blood on the floor from when my dad hit me. This life fucking sucked.

I don't even know why I'm here anymore. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, except for drugs. And that can't be a normal thought. Maybe I was more fucked up by my mom leaving then I thought I was.

I walked through the mess in the room and I picked up my cell phone, all scratched and cracked from the many of times I've thrown it, but oddly it still manages to work. I sat on my bed and flipped it open. I scrolled through my phone numbers until I found the one I wanted; Tweek's. I sat their for a couple of minutes, debating on wether to phone him or not. I squeezed the phone tighter as I felt tears coming out of my eyes again. I fucking needed him right now.

_I always needed him._

I slammed the phone closed and threw it against my wall. It bounced off and landed in a pile of clothes, completely undamaged except for a new crack in the screen. After everything that happened today, after everything I've put him through since we met, I don't deserve to have him comforting me.

I sat on the floor for a while, deciding on what I should do. I looked under my bed for some drugs, but found I was completely empty. I looked in my alcohol containers and found the exact same. I got up to look through my medicine cabinet but only found vitamin c pills, which would do nothing for me. I looked into the mirror at myself. I hated myself so much, just as my dad said, I was _disgusting._

I felt the tears burning in my eyes as I looked at myself. I hated myself, and I couldn't take the sight of my own busted up face any longer. I punched the mirror with everything I had left, shattering it into pieces, with some still stuck into my knuckles. I leaned against the wall and let myself fall to the ground. I landed with a loud thud and looked at my knuckles bleeding horribly. I started crying again, this time not making any sounds. Just letting the tears flow out.

_You can always just die._

I cant get this thought out of my head. My dad would love it if I died. Clyde, my ex-best friend who I use to share everything with, would love it if I died. Im even sure Tweek would do better in life if I wasn't around to fuck it up.

_It would be easy._

"Stop it."

_You could even make it painless._

"Stop it."

_Everyone would be better_ _if you would just drop dead._

"Stop it!"

_Tweek would be happy if you dropped dead._

"STOP IT!"

I yelled at the top of my lungs, still laying on the ground. My heart hurt. I have a huge head ache now. My eyes burned, it was so painful. I wanted to end this pain.

I looked straight ahead, right at the broken glass on the floor. There was this one piece that caught my attention. It was big, and looked sharp. For a second, because of my insanity im guessing, I could of sworn it told me it could help me.

I sat up and picked it up off the floor. I stared at it for a couple of seconds, rotated it around in my hand. I looked at myself in the piece of mirror. It was all distorted, a lot better then my normal look. Everyone keeps telling me how "hot" I am. But I think im the ugliest thing on this planet, even worse then Cartmen.

I began to roll up the sleeve on my hoodie and stared down at my wrist. It was so pale, I guess all are though. It was perfectly untouched, and I could see one single blue vain going down the middle.

For a couple of minutes, I looked at my wrist, then at the piece of glass and back. I wondered if I actually had the balls to do this. I always thought about it, but I never actually thought I'd be at this point in my life.

Thinking about Tweek didn't make this any easier. I loved him, I wanted to be with him for the rest of forever. I wanted to marry him someday, even after talking about how much I hated marriage. I wanted him to have a good life, but I would never be able to have a good life. He would end up getting bored of me by the time we were 25. He would find someone else, someone better, and fall madly in love with him. They would get married, and I'd be left alone. Tweek would leave me alone.

I hated the thoughts that ran through my mind, they made me sick. I guess I am pretty sick if im thinking them anyway...

I raised the piece of glass and put it to my wrist. I could see the reflection of my wrist in the glass. Nobody would care if this happened, right?

Slowly, I pushed the glass in. Only in one spot at first, right above that blue vain. It hurt, but not as much as my life was right now. I thought of how pointless my life was, how meaningless it was. Somewhere deep inside, I found the courage to press in deeper. I dragged it down slowly at first, watching the blood starting to spill out was almost mesmerizing. Then the pain started to kick it, I wanted this to be over so I pulled down quickly. The cut went down about half my arm, right until I couldn't see that blue vain any longer. I threw the glass down on the floor and grabbed at my wrist. Blood was dripping out, there was a lot of blood. I didn't think so much blood would come out. I layed back down on the bathroom floor, holding my cut wrist and sobbing. Now everyone could be happy right? Now Tweek would smile for someone else, love someone else, and be happy with someone else.

My dad was right, it would have been better if I was never even born.

I sat there, everything started getting hazy. I started to see black, a lot of black. All I thought of was Tweek and how good of a life he could have if I was gone. How happy he could be.

I loved him so much, I would do anything to make him happy.

Even if it meant dying.

I closed my eyes, and let my consciousness slip away.

_You can always just die._


	4. Out of Love

**Disclamer: Haha, i love these. I dont own South Park, or maybe i do? I could be Matt or Trey, you never know.**

Okay, seriously. I love torturing Craig. Its like an addiction, and i have an addictive personality.

And i have NO idea how all this Craig/Kenny is poping up.

I really dont think about what im writing until the second i sit down at the computer, so this is all just random stuff.

I listened to Death Cab writing this entire chapter. Mainly "Soul Meets Body" because i love that song.

Token's part in this was kind of random, but i love Token. He would be one of my best friends if i lived in South Park.

And yes, i like the idea of Token/That one goth kid with the red hair.

Only because my one friend looks like that goth kid. And he's dating a black guy, so it reminds me of them...

* * *

"That, was the absolute most pathetic suicide attempt I have ever seen!"

I squinted my eyes at the sudden glimpse of light. I was laying in a bed... in my bed? I didn't know how I got here. Last I remember... I was on the bathroom floor. That's right, I was dying. Am I dead?

I sat up and blinked, trying to regain my focus when I felt hands on my shoulder. I looked up and saw a familiar face, once again it was Kenny.

"What did you think you were doing?"

"K-Kenny?"

"Of course, who else would be here after that pathetic attempt? That was just sad dude."

When I first woke up, I was just hoping to god it was a dream. I looked down at my wrist to see it wrapped up neatly in a bandage.

_Oh fuck, what the hell did I do?_

I looked at Kenny, who was currently scanning my room. Something in my mind snapped and I gasped, causing Kenny to look back at me.

_Tweek._

"Kenny! What... what about Tweek?"

"He doesn't know a thing. Don't worry, I might be a whore but I would never rat you out like that."

I sighed in relief, I wonder what he would do if he ever found out?

"I cant... hide this from him forever, can I?"

"Well, if you have any plans on getting laid by him in the future, then im sure your going to have to be naked in front of him someday... then the questions might come rolling in."

I looked down at my bed sheet. I didn't want Tweek to think any less of me, I didn't want him to think I was some sort of suicidal fuck-up, even if it was true. I felt a hand on top of mine and looked up to see Kenny examining the bandage around my wrist. Suddenly, he lifted my hand up and kissed the spot were I cut. I pulled back.

"Kenny, what the fuck? Im injured here."

Kenny just smirked and looked up at me. That guy was evil, I know it.

"I was just trying to make you feel better, besides im sure when Tweek finds out about this you'll be needing me around A LOT more."

I wonder if Tweek would really hate me. I know he doesn't like the idea of cutting, but he also doesn't like the idea of smoking, drugs, alcohol or fighting... which I do anyway. This couldn't be the thing to make him hate me. I remembered then that I promised to phone Tweek. I jumped out of bed, leaving Kenny sprawled out, and grabbed my cell phone were I threw it last night. I picked it up and started dialing Tweek's number, but got interrupted by a hand coming up behind me and stealing my cell phone. I turned around to look at Kenny, who threw my cell phone back to the ground and smirked up at me.

"Your with me right now, remember?"

Kenny moved in closer to me and put his hand on my hips. I didn't want this right now, I wanted to talk to Tweek. But what if Tweek really did end up hating me? I didn't think I could handle that right now. I let Kenny touch my hips, and I even let Kenny start kissing my neck.

--

I sat around my house all day waiting for Craig to call me. I wanted him to call me so badly, he was so sad yesterday and I was so worried. I even had to explain to my parents what happen. Luckily since I didn't lie very often, I got away with them thinking I ran into my locker at school, which wasn't too hard to believe. I touched the spot on my face and twitched, it still hurt. I could only imagine what pain Craig must be in right now, he got beat up so badly. Thinking about Craig made my eyes water, I wonder if he was okay? I got off my bed and considered walking over to Craig's house. What if he didn't want me there? Did he still want to be alone? Maybe I should call him first. But I was suppose to wait for his call. But then wouldn't he be mad if you just appeared at his door? Or maybe it would make him happy that you care so much. But that's not like Craig, he knows I care about him. Well maybe you have to show him...

I paced back and forth in my room, walking towards the door then back to my bed for a couple of minutes before going back and sitting down on my bed. With a sigh I decided I should phone him first, even if he gets mad at me ill just say I was worried. I picked it up and scrolled through my phone numbers until I saw Craig's name. I pressed talk and listened to it ring.

_Pick up._

_Pick up._

_Oh please, Craig. Pick up._

No luck. I ended up getting his answering machine so I hung up. No point in leaving a message for him to laugh at me later about, now is there? I smiled at the thought of us meeting up later, I missed him.

--

I raised my head at the sudden sound of my phone ringing. I could just barely hear Death Cab playing as my phone was muffled by the clothing, but I knew it was Tweek. I pushed Kenny, who was now on top of me, off and got up from my bed.

"Craig, don't answer it!" I looked back at Kenny who was looking up at me with sad eyes. "Stay with me right now."

"I want - to talk to Tweek. Kenny." I walked over to grab my cell phone, but was suddenly sent flying into my wall, knocking off some of the objects on my bedside table. I looked down at Kenny, he wasn't making eye contact with me. He had his head down, and all I could see was a blonde mess of hair. He leaned up and kissed me, and I could no longer hear the sweet sounds of Death Cab playing from my phone. I wanted to talk to him, I missed him.

--

I couldn't take this anymore. Thoughts kept racing through my head, horrible thoughts. What if he was so depressed yesterday that he overdosed and is laying on the ground right now, dead?! Arrrgggg, I couldn't take it anymore! I had to see him, I didn't care anymore if he got pissed off at me or not I just wanted to see if he was okay. I locked the door behind me and started heading off. It was colder then usual and my hands were freezing. I brought them up to my face and blew into them hoping to warm them up a bit. I walked down the street, passing a coffee shop, which I have never done before. I love coffee, but I love Craig more. And I mean, I really love coffee. So that has to say something about this. I was kind of nervous going over to Craig's house after hearing all these stories about his dad and sister and stuff. I told Craig a million times he could come live with me if he wanted, I know my parents wouldn't mind if they knew the situation. But he just kept saying "im fine". I wanted to believe him, really I did. But seeing him come to school all the time, cut up, bruised. I wanted to be able to help him. I wanted to save him.

I walked further down the street and was finally far enough away from that coffee shop not be able to smell it any longer. Which was good, because it was very tempting. I was waiting for Craig to phone me all day, so I didn't even go downstairs to make a pot scared that I would accidentally miss the call. I continued walking and noticed smoke raising from one of the houses. I looked over at the gigantic house to see Token sitting there, having a cigarette. Which was odd, because Token never smokes. He noticed me before I could walk by and smiled. I decided to go talk to him for a while, since he noticed me already and all.

"Where you going Tweek?" I smiled at him as I approached and looked down at his cigarette.

"I-I was going to c-check on Craig."

"Yah, I saw what he did to Clyde. Must have been a big fight or something, right?"

"W-Why are you smoking?" I couldn't hold that question back anymore. Token was usually the straight edge kid. Only have some drinks at parties at the most, he even said he would never smoke if his life depended on it. He thought it was gross.

Token chuckled. "Im just a little stressed out right now."

"Why? I-I mean, if you don't mind me asking." I hope Token didn't think I was being nosy or anything. He's been my friend for the longest time. I remember when it was only me, him, Craig and Clyde. Hanging out everyday at school, getting into fights with Cartman's group, but still secretly being friends with Kyle, Stan and Kenny. Those were the good old days, before we entered high school. Before Craig and Clyde got into a big fight. Before I went to Craig's side, and Token went off more or less on his own. He was definitely popular in the school now.

"You - you know at the party last night? I think I ended up sleeping with Rebecca."

"WHAT?" I didn't mean to shout, but I was shocked. "I thought you were... you know. Gay."

"I am gay!" Token covered his mouth, remembering his parents were still in the house.

He lowered his voice a bit. "I am gay, and that's what makes this so weird! I don't know what to do, or why I even did it in the first place!"

"D-does Rebecca mind?" Token took another long drag on his smoke, and I started to think of Craig even more.

"She said it doesn't matter. We're friend, I like her as a friend. And I know she likes me as a friend too. I just hope... hope that we can still be friends after this."

"Well, do... do you still want to be friends with her after all of this?"

Token looked up at me.

"Y-yah. I mean, yah. Of course. This doesn't change anything for me. I don't think any differently of her or anything."

"Well, then don't you think she thinks the same?"

Token continued to stare at me, and then smiled.

"You know what Tweek? Sometimes your too wise for your own good."

Token threw out the rest of his cigarette and stood up.

"I'll try phoning her or something." Token started to head inside.

I smiled. "Nobody will think anything differently of you Token, besides - we all know you like that one goth kid!" I started to head away after hearing Token gasp.

"I told you not to tell anyone that!" I looked back to see Token blushing a bit, and I had to giggle.

Maybe if I could help Token out today, then I could do it for Craig too.

I continued to walk down the street until I finally got to Craig's house. It changed over the years. It hasn't been taken care of in forever. The walls were slowly peeling their paint job, and a couple of watermarks were left over from the drain. I stared at it for a couple of minutes, wondering if this was a good idea or not. All I needed to do was see him once, and if he wanted me to leave I would. I walked up to the door and gulped. I wasn't overly scared of his dad answering, which I was. But I was more scared of him not wanting me here. I closed my eyes and knocked on the door, and watching it slowly open from the pressure. I wasn't even closed. I entered the house slowly, looking around to see nobody.

"H-Hello?!" I shouted out into the nothingness, and heard silence.

I walked in a little further, looking at the living room table full of empty liquor bottles and cigarette butts. I looked up the stairs.

"CRAIG, YOU IN HERE?" I thought I heard noises coming from upstairs, so I started traveling up. The stairs creaked as I walked up them, the entire house was dark. I looked over at the wall as I traveled and saw old family portraits. They were smiling in all of them, even Craig. I stopped to look at the one picture. It had his mom, dad, sister and Craig wearing fancy clothing and smiling. The glass that protected it was broken, I reached out and touched Craig in the photo. Its been so long since he's smiled for real. For some reason, whenever he smiles around me, I feel more like it was forced then anything. I heard a thud coming from one of the rooms.

"Craig?" I slowly crept over to the room that the noise came from. I looked at the door and saw the band pictures plastered on it. Bullet for my Valentine, System of a Down, From First to last, Death Cab. It was Craig's room. I heard another noise, a moan? I rose my hand in a fist to begin knocking, but instead the door opened on its own, just like the front.

The door opened and I stood there. My jaw dropped and I felt my eyes widen. I let out a what I thought was a silent gasp, but suddenly Craig looked up at me... and so did Kenny.

Craig was pinned against the wall. He was panting. He had no shirt on. His pants and boxers were on the floor around his ankles.

Kenny was kneeling in front of Craig. He didn't have a shirt on. He had his hands on Craig's bare hips. He was gasping for air as he wiped his mouth with his hand. He smiled at me.

I stood there for a moment in complete shock. I didn't know what I was looking at. I knew what I was looking at, I didn't want to _believe_ what I was looking at. A single tear slid down my cheek as a started to back up, not looking away from the scene. Craig's face probably looked just as shocked as mine did. Kenny was still looking at me, smiling.

"T-Tweek." Craig's voice was stuttering, his lips were shaking.

I turned away and began to run out the door.

"TWEEK!"

I cant believe what I just saw. I felt tears streaming down my face, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I heard more thuds coming from up the stairs as I threw open the door and ran out. The image of Kenny smiling still plastered in my brain.

--

"TWEEK!"

He ran away before he even gave me a chance to explain. I bent down to start pulling up my pants when I was stopped by Kenny.

"Craig, he's already gone." I pushed Kenny down to the floor before pulling up my pants. I began to run out of the bedroom.

"Fuck you Kenny." I didn't look back to see the expression on his face. Tweek just kept racing through my mind, what I just did, and what he was probably thinking. I ran downstairs to see the door wide open, Tweek nowhere to be seen.

"I guess you really fucked up this time."

I turned around to see Kenny standing there. That was the first time I ever felt like punching him. I rolled my hand up into a fist and stared outside through the door.

_Tweek..._

* * *


	5. Your so Pathetic

**Disclamer: Im getting tired of writing this. Because everyone knows i dont own South Park. Its just a known fact.**

Writing this entire chapter made me laugh. Well, not the entire one.. but still.

Tim, Brett and Phil are all names of a couple of my friends who wanted to be involved in the story.

So to imagine them acting like their designated characters do, i find it hilarious.

Tim would make such a great drug dealer, PFFT. Yah right, that kid couldn't hurt a fly.

Oh yah, and if your the type of person that needs to listen to a song reading a fanfiction.

**Save Me - Simple Plan**

Best song to read this chapter too. It just, sort of fits.

Or sappy Avril Lavigne songs. That works too...

As everyone can tell, my favourite word is **Fuck**. I say it all day long, and i make Craig say it too. Wonderful.

* * *

I ran my thumb against the cut on my wrist, now out of its bandage. The dry blood covering the top of it made it hard and bumpy. It hurt every time I touched it. I didn't even remember most of what I was thinking that night. All I know is that was the night that majorly fucked up my life, even more then before. Because of that, I let Kenny do things, and I caused the one person I love the most in this world to hate me.

Tweek hasn't talked to me in two weeks. He even found a way to avoid me at school, and since we didn't have any classes together it was pretty easy. I tried to stand by his locker. Fuck, I stood by his locker all day. I even skipped all my classes that day just incase he would come during one of his. But he avoided me, he doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't even care about hearing my side of the story. But, what would I tell him? That I cut my wrist in a crappy suicide attempt and let Kenny suck me off? It was the truth, and that's what sucks. I know that both of those would hurt him, but he wont give me another chance. I don't even understand my own mind anymore.

I thought about the night at the party. How happy we both seemed to be, me being stoned and him being drunk. It was because of the fact that I didn't have any drugs left led me to my almost suicide. If I would have had some drugs, this wouldn't have happened.

I was tired of feeling the effects of my life anyway. All the alcohol I was drinking just made me more depressed, I wanted drugs. I knew I could always find a dealer, but most of them I already owe a lot of money too. Not like I'll ever pay them back.

I pushed off my bed, grabbed a roll of bills I had on my dresser and headed for the stairs. My sister's door was wide open and I got a glimpse of her laying in bed with some random guy, and they both looked pretty fucking naked. As I walked down the stairs I saw my dad passed out on the couch, surrounded by vodka and rum bottles. I blame my mom for all of this.

I opened the door quietly in hopes of not waking up my father. As soon as I stepped out a big gust of cold wind hit my face, and I decided it was better if I grabbed my toque. It was pretty much the same one I had back in grade three. Most of the kids in South Park still had their same toque from elementary school. It was kind of like a way to identify each other in a crowd or something stupid like that. But I liked mine, it had always been with me. The yellow puff-ball I use to have on top of it got ripped off one day when me, Token and Clyde went sledding. I smiled, remembering the good old days were nothing mattered but having fun.

I walked down the street with my hands stuffed in my pocket. A cigarette I lit earlier was hanging out of the side of my mouth having no support from my freezing hands. Luckily I didn't live too far away from the shitty part of town, were everyone found their drugs. I had to watch out though, Kenny lived down here and he's the last person in the world I want to talk to right now. I didn't want to hurt him, but I cant say I'd be able to control myself if I saw him again. He tried talking to me a couple times in school, but I just ignored him.

I saw a couple dirty looking kids stare at me as I walked down the back alleys. It looked like they haven't been in clean water for years, and they all had pleading eyes. Almost like Kenny's, and it started to piss me off. I turned my head and continued walking, lighting another cigarette as I continued my search. Walking down alley after alley made me feel actually lucky for having the house I do, seeing all the grubby kids with nowhere else to go.

It was never this hard to find a dealer before, was it? It was still early in the day, so I guess most of them would still be in hide out. I inhaled cold air and it caused me to cough, dropping my cigarette which was still half full. I swore as I bent over to try to save it from the snow as I heard footsteps come up behind me.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here."

I turned back to see a big guy with sunglasses looking down at me. He had short black hair, and a total raper goatee. He had two others guys standing behind him, and then I recognised him.

_Oh fuck._

--

My hands were shaking furiously as I lifted up my tenth cup of coffee. I have been sitting in Harbucks since 9:30 this morning, and I could feel the eyes of people watching me. It was starting to creep me out. Ever since I caught Craig and Kenny in his room, I've been drinking coffee more then usual. I've also been needing to take my medication more then usual too, my one month dose was already almost gone, and it has only been half a month.

I felt the warm liquid going down my throat, and it calmed me down. It always seems to calm me down, at least for that split second until I start shaking and need to take another sip. With my other hand I lightly pulled at my straggly blonde hair, a habit I picked up in elementary school when I was nervous. Craig would always make fun of me for it, always laugh at me telling me to calm down.

_Craig..._

I reached into my bag and pulled out my pills again. I had to take them for some wild schizophrenic disease I didn't even know I had until high school. They also help to calm my nerves, and I've been taking a lot more lately then I should. Every time I thought of Craig I had to take one, and I was thinking about him a lot.

I've been able to successfully avoid him at school. Not that I wouldn't like to hear his side of the story, but because I don't know if I would be able to handle it. I would hate to break down crying in school. Jesus, I'd never be able to live that one down. And im too scared to go over to his house, since the last time I did I saw...

I didn't even want to think about it anymore! I popped another pill into my mouth and washed it down with a gulp of coffee. I squeezed at the coffee cup, waiting for the effects of the pill to kick in.

I heard people talking around me. Moving chairs and laughing with their friends. I looked over in the corner and saw a couple holding hands from across the table. The guy whispered something into the girls ear, and she laughed. Then they kissed, and I felt the biggest need for another pill. I bent down to grab my bag and when I looked up saw someone standing at my table. It made me jump and I dropped my unopened bottle of pills on the ground. The guy bent over to pick them up, and after I saw him staring at me through a black eye I knew it was Clyde. He had a toque on, which he rarely ever does, so it was hard to recognise him. I smiled at him and he sat down at my table.

"You seem really stressed out lately Tweek." He handed me the bottle of pills and I took one out, popped it into my mouth and took another sip of my coffee.

"A-a lot has happened lately. How are y-you feeling?"

"What happened with you and Craig?" Crap, I guess it wasn't that hard to realise around school that I was avoiding him. "I know something's going on, you two use to be attached at the hip, and now you guys aren't even talking around school."

I felt tears coming into my eyes, and I got another urge for pills. I reached over to grab the container, but Clyde grabbed them away before I got a chance.

"I've been watching you for a while Tweek. You've already taken five today, who know's how many more at home. Your gonna end up killing yourself."

Right now, that didn't seem like the worst thing in the world.

"What happened?" Clyde stared at me for a while as I stared down at my coffee. I felt a tear drop down my face and quickly tried to wipe it away before Clyde saw, but I guess im not that sneaky.

"Do you want to come to my place for a bit?" I looked up a Clyde, who stood up from his seat staring down at me.

"S-sure." I drank the rest of my coffee, left some money on the table and grabbed my bag. I followed Clyde out of the store, looking down at my feet the entire walk to his house.

--

"Long time no see, Craig." That asshole smiled down at me like he was actually excited. I guess why shouldn't he be, I did owe him a fuck load of money. Tim was one of the biggest drug dealers in South Park, anyone who did drugs knew about him. And anyone who did drugs also ended up owing that douche a whole bunch of cash. I knew a lot about him too, and anyone who didn't pay up usually ended up at Hells Pass Hospital. I stood up and looked him in the eye, he was still taller then me.

He walked up closer to me, that smile still plastered on his face. "What brings you around here?"

"What else would idiot?" He smiled at this, knowing that I needed him probably gave him a sick sense of self-satisfaction.

"Well I guess today's my lucky day. You need drugs, and I need money. **A lot**. **of**. **money**." Him and his cronies bursted out laughing. He always pissed me off.

"Now, what would you need?" I wanted to punch that smirk right off his face, but I knew that with his people with him I would get my ass kicked. I really didn't think of what I needed before, I just knew I wanted something. I wanted something I knew would seriously fuck me up.

"I want coke, and a lot of it." This made him smile even bigger. More money for him, I guess.

"Good! Well, come with us then Craig." He started to walk away, and I reluctantly followed behind.

By the time we got to his "house", I was shivering. It was freezing outside, and I didn't think of putting on my jacket. I threw on a flimsy hoodie and headed out the door, which was a bad idea now. As I walked into the doors of the old abandoned factory he claimed as his own, the warmth finally started to kick in. I stopped shivering as I went to sit down on the single couch in the middle of the factory, right in front of Tim's desk. He tried so hard to look professional.

The factory looked like it was about to fall apart at any second. There were a bunch of "warning" signs around the place, and the cracks in the wall didn't make it look any safer. There was water dripping in, and a stench that I recognised but couldn't quite put my finger on. The couch was ripped up, and an ugly shade of pale green. It almost looked like vomit. There was some white stains of the couch that I didn't even want to think about what I might catch sitting on it.

Two of his cronies sat down besides me on either side. Probably making sure I didn't run away right after. Tim went and sat behind the desk, opened up one of the drawers and pulled out a bag of white powder, a little different then the heroin from the party I got from Kenny, and knew emidiatly it was cocaine. I got way too excited before he put it back into the drawer and rested his head on his hands.

"You have a lot of money I need, you know that right?"

I leaned back on the couch and nodded.

"I-I don't have enough money to pay you back right now. I only have enough to buy some today. But I will pay you back when I..." He cut me off by laughing.

"As soon as I give you this, I won't see you for another 6 months now will I?" I bit my lip, knowing this was true. I had no intention of ever paying him back. I felt a strong hand on each of my shoulders, and looked up to see his cronies holding me down. Tim got up from his chair and moved over to me, that smile still plastered on his face.

"You know Craig, there is always a way for you to pay us back." He put his hand on my leg and I started to panic. I tried to move but the cronies held me down strong, it started to hurt my shoulders.

"You can always just... 'help' me out with some things." He began to move his thumb, rubbing the inside of my thigh. I held back a moan as him and his cronies started laughing. What the fuck did I get myself into this time?

--

It felt good to get inside Clyde's house. I was freezing outside, and the warmth from inside warmed me up quickly. His house was nice too. It was cleaned up from the party, and everything was back to normal. We walked up the stairs from his doorway into the living room, and he patted on the leather couch for me to sit down. Last time I saw this couch, Cartman was trying to pick up Butters, and I laughed at the thought of that. I sat down as Clyde went into the kitchen. I looked around, and the whole place felt really welcoming. A glass table was right in between the couch and the flat-screen TV. Family pictures and paintings were covering the walls. There was even a fancy looking bed for Clyde's dog. I know Craig use to have a guinea pig. Its name was Stripe, and he cried for hours when he died. Not like I was ever allowed to tell anyone that. I always liked it how he showed me his soft side, and nobody else.

Clyde came back a couple of minutes later with two cups of coffee and asked me to follow him into the basement. The basement was just as big as the living room, but had more of a 'hang out' feel to it. It had a couch and two bean bag chairs. Plus a gigantic TV with an x-box, game cube and a playstation 3. It had racing magazines scattered across the room, yet it was still relatively clean. It also had posters all over the walls. Gorillaz, Cute is What we Aim For, Mindless Self Indulgence, We the Kings. A lot different then Craig's selection of music. We sat down on the couch and I took a sip of the coffee.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" I looked at Clyde who was already looking at me. I really didn't want to talk about it again. I put my coffee down on the side table.

Talking about it was difficult. I had to choke back tears for over half of it, watching as Clyde's eyes widened and jaw dropped as I told him all the details. I couldn't help it at the end, I completely broke down crying. I tried to hold it in the best I could, but it all came out anyway.

I covered my eyes with my hands and bursted out in tears. I was even making sounds, which I haven't done around anyone in years, not since me and Craig had that fight. I heard a clink as Clyde put his coffee cup down and wrap his arms around me. He pulled me in until I could hear his heart beating, and I tried to call down a bit. I tried to hold in the tears as best I could, but no matter what they kept on coming.

"Its okay Tweek, its okay. Im here. I'll help you." Clyde rubbed my back and I gripped onto his shirt.

"I-I haven't talked t-to him in so long..." I was trying to talk in between sobbing, it wasn't working out so great. "H-he probably think - I h-hate him."

"You deserve to hate him Tweek, what he did to you was horrible."

"I... I cant hate him. No matter what he does to me I'll always..." I paused. "I'll always love him."

That made me cry even harder. Clyde pulled me in closer to him and held me there. I could feel his warmth and I could hear his heart beat. Craig always did this to calm me down.

"Im so sorry Tweek." I could barely here him, he was whispering. He kept repeating comforting words to me until I calmed down a bit. It was really good to have a friend to help me.

--

"No fucking way. No **FUCKING **way man. I don't do that!" Tim just stared at me. He knew I would fold. No. He thought I would fold. But I wouldn't. I would NOTdo something like that. "I **fuck **Tim**,** I do not GET fucked."

Tim bursted out laughing again. How could he think I was kidding? Yah, I was gay. But its not like I ever once considered being the one to 'take it'. Just thinking about it made me sick.

"Oh common kid. Its just a couple of jobs, then your slate is cleared. You never have to see me again if you don't want to."

"No fucking way, this isn't even worth it! Im out of here." I stood up only to be shot back down by one of Tim's cronies grabbing onto my shoulder. I yelped in pain as I was pinned back down to the couch.

"Brett, Brett. Calm yourself, we cant damage the merchandise" The crony loosened his grip on me, but still held me down good enough to not get away.

"Now Craig, you know you have two choices in the matter." Oh fuck, here it comes. "You can either do some jobs for us, in other words sell your ass to us. Or, we can fuck you up good, and keep doing so until we get paid. You forget we can always find out were you live, who your friends are, who your **boyfriend** is." He smirked at his own comment.

Tweek's name popped into my mind. If they ever hurt him, I swear to god. I swear to fucking god I would kill them.

But, were me and Tweek even dating anymore? After that, don't people usually break up. I never really thought about it. We never got to talking about it either. Could he really still love me after seeing something like that anyway?

I guess I got a sad look on my face or something, because Tim put his hand on my shoulder which made me look up at him.

"Awe, what happened? Did he break up with you or something? Did he break your heart?" I looked back down.

_I broke his._

"No wonder you needed some kid. All you have to do is a couple of jobs, and you'll be able to have some drugs again. That's all I ask for."

"Do I... Do I have to?" I looked back up at him, and I could have sworn I was frowning.

"If you ever want drugs from me again, you will."

I sat there in silence. I could have gotten drugs from someone else, I know I could find someone else. But I didn't think that Tim would let me go so easily. I turned my head, I didn't want to look at him in the eye. I can't believe I was folding.

"Brett, Phil. When he's ready, take him to his first appointment." Tim stood up and walked towards the door. "Just don't be late." I heard the doors close.

"You ready kid?" The one crony, I think his name was Phil, stood up and stared down at me. I could feel both of their eyes on me, this was seriously pissing me off.

I sighed. "Yah, im ready." I got up and let the cronies lead me out the door. I convinced myself that I would never whore myself for drugs until I was done dating Tweek, but I didn't know if we were over or not. I didn't want it to be over, but for me it was all up to Tweek now. The cold air hit my face as we exited the factory. It got even colder out, and darker. It felt like I was going to freeze to death. Maybe it would have been better if I did died...

* * *


	6. Bad News and Deep Consequences

**Disclamer: You know what. I DO own South Park! How about that? Maybe somebody will actually believe this...**

**that would be hilarious.**

At first, I didn't even know what I was going to write in this chapter.

And it ended up being my longest one yet.

The majority of this chapter is written in Tweeks POV, and i think thats what did it.

I didn't mean to be so late with this one either. With how much homework i had (and didnt do anyway), and drawing pictures for DeviantART (reason i didn't do my homework).

I had alot to do... but its up now!

Okay, well it will be up AFTER i watch South Park... hehehe.

**OH THE SPELLING. **Ive been having horrible spelling lately, even when i check it over (which i do like, three times) i still have awful spelling mistakes. If you see one, dont be shy to tell me okay? It will be even more embarressing for me if i have a spelling mistake in there!

I think i'll read it over again, just to be safe.

* * *

Hanging around Clyde actually helped me a lot. He let me sleep over at his house, and we caught up on a lot of things. We talked about the good old times too, back in elementary school. When it was only the four of us, battling it out with Cartman's gang. I think Clyde missed everyone too, he probably would have made up with Craig if they both weren't so god damn stubborn. We even talked about our future goals. How Clyde would love to go into law school and become a lawyer, and how he always dreamt about owning a big house in the suburbs. I never knew Clyde was the type to think about these things. He got me thinking about the things I wanted in life as well. I wouldn't mind owning the coffee shop after my dad retired, and I wouldn't mind a fair sized house. I didn't want a big house, there are too many places someone could hide if they were trying to kill me, Clyde laughed when I explained that to him. I wouldn't mind getting married some day either. But no matter what I thought about, everything involved Craig. I imagined us living together, him going off to his job as I was getting ready for mine. I could make him breakfast every morning well I was making my coffee. Maybe Clyde would like to be our neighbour or something. Thinking about actually getting married to Craig made me blush a bit, I know it would never happen though. He always complains about how pointless marriage is. But I guess it's the point of knowing someone will always be yours for your entire life.

Craig would always say the same thing.

_Marriage doesn't matter Tweek. It doesn't need to be written down on paper or anything. I'll always be yours, no matter what. _

The longer I don't see him, the more I think about him. He's like an addiction to me, I guess that's why I never needed drugs or alcohol or anything. Because _he _was my addiction, he was all I needed to keep me going in life. I only wish I could have been his too.

I always thought about what Craig would be like as a father. He would probably be the strict one in the family, since I fold under pressure so easily. He would probably be the one to stick up for our kid too, since I could never win any battle. He would be kind though, that I know. He can complain about kids all he wants, but I know he secretly likes them. Wait a second, we're both guys... how can we have a kid?

This snapped me out of my thoughts. It was still dark outside; I looked at the clock to see it was only 3:30. I sat up and looked over at a sleeping Clyde in his bed. The same bed that me and Craig almost... well. I blushed at the thought, remembering that party. Before the party, I almost forgot how fun hanging around Craig was. We were both so busy with school, and his drugs, that we barely got anytime to see each other. And now...

I layed back down, trying to get to sleep. I didn't get any bit of sleep that entire night, I was lost in my thoughts... about everything. And now that I was thinking about Craig, there is no way I was getting to sleep tonight. I wondered how he was doing, if he was okay. I never knew anything that happened in his life. I never knew what he was thinking, or what he wanted from me. He said he loved me, but I wonder if that was even true.

I closed my eyes tighter, trying to force myself to sleep. Too many thoughts were going through my mind, and I hated it. Am I really on a one-sided romance here? I knew Craig was sometimes, quite an asshole to put it simply. But would he really lead me on for so long, just to shoot me down...

--

It felt like we have been walking around for hours. The cronies didn't seem to know where the hell they were going. I looked at my cell phone to see it was 3:30. Yah, we've been walking around for 2 hours now. I sighed and blew into my already frozen hands. This gave me a lot of time to think though, I was considering running as fast as I could to get away from them. Even after years of smoking, drugs and alcohol I could still run really fast if I set my mind to it. I looked up just in time to see the one crony smack the other one across the head. This made me laugh.

"Do you even know were the fuck we're going Brett?!" He looked so angry, it looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel.

"Fuck off Phil! I know what im doing here!"

"We should have taken that fucking left turn, I told you. You moron!" He slapped him again, and I caught myself before I bursted out laughing, only letting out a little bit of sound. Just enough for the cronies to hear, and for them to turn back at me looking pissed.

"You think this is fucking funny? You forgot, now that we're late its _YOUR_ balls on the line, not ours."

The two cronies continued fighting as I followed behind them. I picked up my cell phone and considered texting Butter's, who over the years has become my almost-best friend. I could talk to him about things I couldn't tell Tweek, even if it wasn't much. He would probably freak out if I told him I was about to go whore myself for drugs, so I decided against it. I was also considering texting Tweek. But how lame would that be, not talk to him for two weeks then suddenly just text him? I wanted to talk to him badly, but I would never just up and text him. Besides, what if he was still pissed off. I wouldn't want to get yelled at through text messaging. Fuck, this was complicated. I wonder what he would say about this. I chuckled. He would probably tell me I was a fucking idiot, which I am. I've definitely hit an all time low, and im disappointed in myself. I wonder what Tweek was thinking right now.

Suddenly, I felt a sense of panic. I hurt Tweek so much in the past, and this would hurt him so much more. Sure, it was for drugs, but I loved Tweek a lot more then drugs. Didn't I? Drug's have always been at the top of my list, the one thing I would do anything for. But I never thought of how much Tweek meant to me until I lost him. Something snapped inside of me. I had to see Tweek, _now_. I had to get out of here, this was bad.

Luckily, the cronies were still fighting. I continued walking until I could make my escape.

_I need to do this. Fuck drugs, I need Tweek. He's all I ever needed._

I looked across the street and saw a familiar back alley way. I didn't know this area of town great, but I've been down here a couple of times. Good enough to know some ways around at least. The cronies were still yelling at each other, so I thought they wouldn't be able to hear me even if I did start running. I looked both ways down the street, not wanting to get hit by any sort of car in my escape. I took a deep breathe before sprinting towards the alleyway. I heard one of the cronies yell something out, but I wasn't listening. My heart was pounding so fast, and I was only concentrated on getting out of there to see Tweek. I heard footsteps behind me and my heart pounded faster. They were coming after me. I wasn't in the best shape of my life; I was only running for this short bit and I was already almost out of breath. I kept pushing myself down the alleyway, dodging random trash cans and garbage bags. I could still hear the footsteps behind me, and they seemed to be getting closer.

This was the only moment in my entire life I regretted smoking. I pushed myself too hard running, started coughing and ended up tripping over my own feet. It didn't take the cronies too long to catch up, and I felt a sudden pain in my stomach as one of them kicked me. I fell onto my side, clutched my stomach and gasped for air. I could barely breathe between running and that kick to the gut. Fuck, if only I stuck to football. The snow was seeping in through my hoodie as I laid there, watching them stare at me.

The one crony grabbed me by my collar and pinned me against the wall before punching me in the face. The other crony grabbed me before I fell and pinned my arms behind my back as the other one continuously punched my stomach. The crony finally let me go and I fell onto my knees. My stomach hurt like hell, I could barely move. At least they made sure I couldn't run away anymore.

"So you decided to quit early huh?" He grabbed me by my hair and forced me to look up at him.

"I was hoping he would try. Now WE can have some fun!" The crony behind me kicked me in my back and I fell face first into the snow.

The one crony continued to kick me in any space possible, I lost view of the other one. My body started to hurt everywhere, but only when he kicked me in the gut again did I scream in pain. He laughed and continued kicking that spot as I tried to protect it with my hands. He kicked me hard in the face and I could feel the warmth of blood as it dripped out of my mouth. Who knew how long I was laying there getting the shit kicked out of me before I heard footsteps coming.

"Finally your back, I was getting bored." I looked up to see both crony's staring down at me.

I looked in the one's hand and saw a shiny metal pipe. I would have ran if I wasn't so sore. I tried to stand up, still gripping at my stomach, as I felt the metal pipe contact my ribs. I heard a loud crack sound and screamed in pain. I fell onto the ground and started coughing up blood. He continued hitting me over and over again, I heard my arm crack and felt a shot of pain running up it. The other crony held me up again as the one hit me in the face with the pipe. I just laid there now, feeling the cold metal contact me in any possible spot.

"You knew what happened if you refused, kid." I saw the pipe being lowered towards my head, then everything went black.

_I probably would have fought back when I had the chance if I didn't think I deserved this. For everything I've done in life, but most importantly for everything I've done to Tweek. I kept thinking about the things I would never get to tell him if they killed me right now. How I'd never get to tell him how much he truly meant to me, or how much I loved him. I would never get to say sorry for treating him so badly. Even just the thought of me never being able to see him again hurt. Maybe this was all for the best. I wanted him to be happy, and I never once did that for him. _

_--_

I almost forgot how much fun hanging out with Clyde was. After I slept over at his house, we got a lot closer. We even hung out for the rest of the weekend. It was incredible, I haven't had so much fun in my life. First we went to a movie, which he had to pay for because I was lacking money at the time. Then we went to the arcade in the mall and played games. Even though I suck at DDR he made me play it with him, and of course he had to pick one of the hardest songs for me to dance too! Then everyone started crowding around us, it was WAY too much pressure! We played a zombie shooting game too, House of The Dead IV. We even beat it, well Clyde did. No help from me there. I died on the second level. I couldn't hold that gun straight to save my own life. Then we finally played a relaxing racing game, which I can actually play. Well, until Clyde made me crash into the wall and I lost to him by a full lap. I should have known he was better at racing games then me though, he's practically obsessed with racing.

That was only Saturday, we had just as much fun hanging out on Sunday! We went to the park and build a snow fort. It was fun, we even broke out into a mini snowball fight, which after Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Jimmy showed up turned into a major snowball fight. Then Token and Butters showed up, and they joined our team so it would be equal. Stan hit me right in the face with a snowball too. What if it had rocks in it or something! I have to get him back for that...

The best part about hanging out with Clyde is that I didn't once think about Craig. I was too busy to think about him. I didn't overly mind it anyway. I went through stages since I caught Craig cheating on me. At first I was horribly depressed, but I think now I'm more in my pissed-off stage. I don't think I'm still overly mad with Craig for cheating on me anymore_, _it still hurts of course, but I think I'm more upset that he hasn't even tried to apologise or anything!

That weekend ended way to fast, and I was finally back at school. For the first half of school, I thought I did a pretty good job at avoiding Craig, until lunch time came.

We were sitting in the cafeteria. Me, Clyde, Token and Jimmy were laughing and having a whole bunch of fun. It got even more fun when we, as in Clyde, started yelling at Cartman from a cross the lunchroom. Calling him a fat ass and dumb shit, anything that he knew would tick him off. He finally got mad enough to come over and threaten to beat Clyde up as Kyle and Stan held him back. Kenny walked away as soon as he saw me sitting at the table.

Good, I didn't want to see him anyway.

After that Kyle, Stan and Cartman came to sit with us, even if Cartman wasn't being very willing. It was all fun and games until I accidentally overheard Stan and Kyle talking.

"Craig wasn't in science today, I wonder where he went?" Stan was doing a very bad job of whispering, I could hear every word that he was saying.

"Maybe he skipped? I don't know, maybe Tweek knows?" Kyle wasn't doing much better.

"I don't think they're talking anymore. I haven't seen them together in weeks."

"Aren't they still dating though?"

"I don't know..."

_I didn't even know._

Stan looked up at me and I quickly looked away. I began laughing as Clyde continued making fun of Cartman, acting like I haven't been listening to them at all.

"He's probably just skipping, we shouldn't worry about it just yet."

"Yah... I guess your right."

I didn't know Craig wasn't at school, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was skipping. That was just like him. Still, I started to worry. Just out of habit, I felt myself begin to tug on my hair.

.

:x:

.

The next day at school, I actually tried looking around for Craig, but even when I was still talking to him he was hard to find. I checked outside at the area's kids liked to smoke. I checked in the bathrooms were kids liked to get drunk or stoned before classes. I even tried to glance inside his home room quickly, but his teacher caught me before I even got to look inside.

"Get to your class kid." Then he closed the door on me. That made me nervous, what if Craig was in there, and he saw me try to come in? I would be completely embarrassed! I decided just to stop thinking about it; decided to wait until lunch time to ask Stan or Kyle.

This time we all met outside for lunch. It was much better out there anyway. It was still cold, but it felt a little warmer today. We sat on one of the benches, even if it was way to small for all of us to fit on. Kyle decided to sit on Stan's lap, I didn't think he minded too much though. Cartman took up practically two spots, so I had to sit on Clyde's lap. Which would have been fine if I didn't feel completely weird doing it. When I first sat on him, he wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me stable. I felt my face getting hot on covered it with my hands, saying my face was a bit cold. I couldn't actually be blushing sitting on Clyde lap, could I? I mean, I may not have talked to Craig in a while, but I still loved him. I couldn't be getting a crush on Clyde. Even if I did have a lot of fun with him, and he did make me feel happy and safe. Even if he was smart and handsome, and wrapped his arms even tighter around my waist...

I made a small squeaking sound and put my head down on the table. I looked back up to see everyone looking at me, and nervously giggled. I got happy when everyone else started laughing and went back to their normal conversations. I looked over at Stan and Kyle to see if they were talking about anything yet, but caught them flirting. Stan would play with Kyle's fingers, and Kyle would giggle. Kyle touched Stan's cheek and pulled him in closer for a kiss. I couldn't look away, even if I did feel like a total pervert watching two of my friends making out. Suddenly I felt really lonely.

_Craig..._

"Hey Tweek, I'm sure we could totally beat them. Wanna make out too?" I felt warm air on my ear and it made me jump. I looked back to see Clyde looking at me laughing. I started blushing again.

"Just kidding man!" He turned to Kyle and Stan. "Would you two cut it out already! Your lovey dovey shit makes us singles sick!"

Everyone bursted out laughing. Stan just replied with a "fuck you!" and started laughing along with the rest of us. There was a moment that Stan and Kyle looked into each other eyes, and it almost felt like time stood still. You could practically feel how strongly they loved each other, and I wondered if I would ever have something like that.

Finally the moment stopped, and everyone was still chattering away to each other.

"Craig wasn't here again, I'm starting to get a bit worried." Finally, this is what I've been waiting for.

"I know. Me too, I know how his life at home is and all. I hope he isn't hurt or something."

Why did he have to say it like that? I was completely worried now. I tugged at my hair again as I continued listening to the conversation.

"Maybe we should go check at his house after school or something."

"No. I mean, I'm worried about him. But I wouldn't want his dad getting mad or anything."

"Don't worry Kyle, I'd protect you."

"Its not me I'm worried about, idiot."

They kissed again, and I got an empty feeling.

"Get a room you faggots!" Cartman yelled across the table and everyone laughed again.

"Shut up. You can't make fun of gays if you **are **one, fat ass!" Kyle yelled back, smiling.

"Ay! Im not fat you stupid jew!" Cartman and Kyle began arguing as the rest of us laughed. Or at least, I would have been laughing. If I wasn't so concerned about Craig.

.

:x:

.

Five days went by and still no sign of Craig. I was getting seriously worried now. Sure he skipped a lot, but it was never like him to miss the same class five days in a row. He knew he would fail, so he only skipped the same class every second day at the most.

I finally swallowed my fear and decided I should check at Craig's house. After school I didn't jump on the bus, I walked towards Craig's house. My heart was pounding horribly fast and I was sweating. It got worse as I got closer to Craig's house. Finally, when I was in front of it I stopped. I wondered if this was a good idea. What if he was really just skipping. I would make such a moron out of myself if I just showed up at his house! I wouldn't even know what to say if he opened the door!

I started walking away from the house, then back. I guess all I needed to do was check, right? If he answered the door, I'm sure I could run fast enough to get away. He might think I was totally weird, but its better then having to talk to him right now.

I sighed and walked up to the door. I stood there for a couple of minutes before I began to knock. I heard bottles being moved from inside. I closed my eyes and prayed that Craig didn't open the door. Then to my relief, Craig's dad answered the door. Then I got scared.

"Hi. Uhh, is... um. Is Craig here? Uhh..." I didn't mean to stutter. His dad was so intimidating. I was so scared of him.

"No, he's not. Little shit hasn't come home since Friday. Actually, im quite fucking thankful. I hope he never fucking comes back." He slapped the door in my face.

I stood there for a moment. _Hasn't been home since Friday? _I got really, really worried now. I walked away from the door, and when I got to the corner I decided to phone his cell phone. I didn't care if he didn't want to talk to me anyway, I just had to know he was alright. It rang and rang, but nobody answered. I got his answering machine and hung up.

_Craig, where in god's name could you be?_

I continued walking around until I discovered I was lost. I phoned my parents and told them I was doing homework at Token's house so they wouldn't get worried. Then I decided to phone Clyde.

"Hey Tweek, what's up?" I could hear the television playing in the background.

"Can I come over for a bit? I really need to talk to someone right now." I was extremely nervous and sad. I just wanted to be with someone.

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you okay?"

"Okay, see you in a bit."

I hung up and continued walking around until I found a familiar store. I knew my way from here, so I headed over to Clyde's house. When I got there I saw him sitting outside waiting for me.

"I didn't think you actually meant 'waiting for you', you idiot!" I smiled as I walked up to his doorway, at least I knew someone cared about me.

"Oh, I wasn't out here for that long." What a lie. He was only in a t-shirt, and he was shivering like crazy.

Clyde got up and led me inside his house. He ran quickly to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate and asked if I wanted any coffee. I said sure, I needed something to calm my nerves, plus I was pretty cold.

After everything was made, we went back down into the basement. Once again we were sitting on the couch, just like that one night.

"So what's up Tweek. You sounded pretty nervous on the phone..."

I gulped. "I - I went to Craig's house today..."

"Did you see that douche bag?" Clyde cut me off. "He's making everyone worry, I guess he hasn't come to school in five days! Did you tell him to hurry his ass back?"

"He wasn't there." I took a sip of my coffee and felt the warm liquid going down my throat again. For that second, I was completely calm.

"What?!" Clyde practically yelled.

"He... I talked to his dad. I guess he hasn't been home since Friday."

We sat in silence for a long time. I could feel Clyde's eyes on me, but I didn't want to look over.

"Are you okay, Tweek?"

"Yah... of course."

"No Tweek. Really, are you okay?"

I felt tears building up in my eyes again. I put my coffee on the side table and wiped my eyes.

"Im worried, I'm really really worried." Clyde put his hand on my head and started messing up my hair, if it could even get any messier.

"He's a tough guy Tweek. I'm sure where ever he is he's fine." I started crying again, and Clyde pulled me in for another hug. This was just like the first night...

"Im so sorry Clyde, I don't want to cry. Really, im just so worried! He's never done this before, and the worst part is knowing that I didn't do anything to stop him!"

"There was nothing you could do Tweek, we still don't know what happened to him. He could have just ran away or something... trying to forget what he did."

"B-but I tried phoning him, he wouldn't even answer!"

"Do you really think he would answer the phone for you right now?"

I looked up at Clyde, I guess that made sense at least.

"Yah, I-I guess your right. I was just thinking of the worst." I tried to sit back up, but Clyde pulled me back into the hug.

"You shouldn't worry about him anymore Tweek." His words kind of shocked me. What did he mean by that?

Suddenly I felt a hand on my cheek and looked up at Clyde. He pulled my face closer to his until our lips touched. I widened my eyes at first in shock, but then completely melted into the kiss. His lips were warm, and they kind of tasted like chocolate. He put his hand on my back to pull me in closer to him. He felt so good, he tasted so good, but something wasn't right. There was only one thing wrong with this moment, he wasn't Craig.

I pushed away and stared at him for a moment.

"Im sorry Clyde." I got up off of the couch and ran out Clyde's door. I didn't know what to say to him. I've only ever kissed Craig in my life, so kissing Clyde was a completely new experience. He felt different, his hands were softer, and he held me more gently then Craig did. But Clyde's lips weren't as soft as Craig's, and I didn't get that feeling in my stomach when Clyde kissed me like I did when Craig did. I ran back home and immediately went up to my room. I didn't even say hi to my parents. I fell face first onto my bed and sat there for a bit.

_My boyfriend is missing, and my best friend just kissed me. How much more messed up can this get? _

I decided I could take my mind off of it by doing some homework. I have physic's to do. I didn't like physic's, it was really hard. But I was scared of blowing something up, so I didn't take chemistry, and the thought of dissecting something made me sick; so biology was out of the picture. Since I had to take one science to pass high school, I decided to take physics. At least I wasn't too bad at math.

Before I knew it, it was already 10:30. I finished all of my physics homework and it was only Friday. I didn't have any other homework to do, and I was happy I was free for the entire weekend. I looked at my cell phone and saw I had two text messages from Clyde. I was a little worried, I didn't know if I should look at them or not. Finally I picked up my phone and flipped it opened. The one message popped up emidiatly.

_(1/2)Im so sorry Tweek. I don't even know why I did it. It just, kind of felt right at that moment, you know? _

_(2/2)Well, that's still no excuse. I hope things aren't weird between us or anything. Maybe we could hang out tomorrow or something? I don't know... if you want to._

I laughed and leaned back in my chair. That's just like Clyde, he was way to nice for his own good. I began to text him back.

_Im sorry too. I kind of freaked out, but I'm okay with it. Nothings weird for me if nothings weird for you. I'd love to hang out, call me tomorrow okay? I think im going to head off to bed._

I put the phone down and changed into my pajamas. I was extremely tired today and didn't feel like brushing my teeth before I sat down on my bed. My cell phone rang with another text message and I opened it up.

_Okay, get a good sleep. Talk to you tomorrow. :)_

I turned off my phone and laid down. I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

.

:x:

.

I got up early the next morning. It was Saturday, but my parents still had to work. I got up out of bed and headed downstairs to put on a cup of coffee. As it was being made I went up stairs and got changed, wanting to head out the second Clyde called me. I liked hanging out on weekends.

I ran back downstairs after I got my clothes on. My coffee was almost ready so I got my cereal out and poured it into a bowl. By the time I put my milk in, the coffee was ready. I sat and ate until I heard my doorbell ring. It made me jump and I spilt a bit on the floor.

"Im coming!" I yelled as I went to grab a towel to clean up the mess. The doorbell kept being rung so I ran over to answer it.

Butter's was standing in front of me, breathing heavily like he just ran a marathon.

"What are you doing here Butters?" I asked before I realised how rude I was being. "Wait, want to come in?"

"Tweek!" Butters was trying to catch his breath. He walked into my house and I walked away to go get him a glass of water, but he grabbed me by my sleeve.

"No time! Craig... Craig. He's in the hospital." I froze.

"W-what?"

"Craig's in the hospital. He's in really bad shape, he wont wake up!"

I stared at him, I couldn't believe what he just told me.

"Common, you have to come with me! Now Tweek!"

He pulled me out of the house. I didn't even close the door before I started running. I heard Butter's yelling at me to wait, but I didn't want to listen. I had to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

* * *


	7. Save You

**Disclamer: I dont own South Park. Matt and Trey do, until they sell the official rights to me and my one friend. Then i own it. You'll be able to know when this happenes, everything will be alot more... gay.**

This took me WAY too long to do, and i appologize. I cant even blame school work, because i dont do it anyway. I didn't even get working on it until two days ago, so it didn't actually take me THAT long.

Im just lazy, understand that people. Its a curse.

Writing this chapter, i discovered Google is my best friend. Whenever i spell a word wrong, Word Perfect 4X will not change the word to what i want it to be. So if i dont know how to spell a word, i Google it. Google helps me, Word Perfect 4X mentally hurts me. I only have like, 14 more days with it though. Im oddly going to miss it.

Also, im sorry if this chapter feels like such a soap opera. Well writing it, i was watching Days of our Lives. (Dont Ask.) Actually, Im watching it right now. Its a new episode (YES!).

Everyone, watch Days of our Lives right now. Seriously. But why in every soap opera is there a guy with an eye patch?

See, i dont hate Kenny! I love Kenny, he's freakin sweet. I felt bad for making him seem like such a dick.

There is ALOT of talking in this chapter, like alot. Plus alot of... dramatic encounters (Soap Opera Influence.) I just wanted to get past everything to get to the next chapter, so tecnically this chapter is just a minor convinience, and doesn't have too much purpose. I just wanted to fix some things i messed up during other chapters.

Spelling mistakes? Please alert me again if you see one, i have a love/hate relationship with Word Perfect 4X.

* * *

The second I entered the hospital I collapsed onto my knees and gasped for air. I don't think I've ever ran so hard in my life. Minutes later, Butters came running in and put his hand on my shoulder, also gasping.

"Gee Tweek. I-I never knew you could run so fast."

We were both tired and exhausted, but I forced him to lead me to Craig's room. As we walked down the hallway I looked into peoples opened rooms. Everything looked so sad, wires connecting into people and heart monitors to make sure they don't die. The scent of death was everywhere, it was making me sick. I wanted to make sure Craig was okay, but I also knew that he wouldn't want to be alone right now. He may act tough, but he hates hospitals more then anyone else I know. He needs me right now, even if he wont admit it.

Butters stopped and I almost had a heart attack right there, before I realized we were only at the elevator. He pressed the button and we stood there for a moment, it was taking too long.

"Why don't we just take the stairs?!" Butters turned around with a dramatic look of shock on his face.

"Are you serious?! We just ran the entire way here... a-and there is no way in heck I'm walking up those stairs."

Butters turned back around, but I knew he could sense me glaring at him from behind. He glanced over his shoulder at me but quickly turned back around. Then he made a loud grunting sound.

"Fine! But you owe me one!"

I opened the door to the stairway and quickly started running up the stairs. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, and when I looked down the stairs I saw Butters slowly walking up them.

"Hurry up!" He looked up at me and glared.

"Now you don't need to rush me. Craig will still be there when we get there..."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW?!"

This made Butter's hurry up a bit. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings, but I wanted to get to Craig. I sped my pace up until I heard Butter's shout "stop".

"This is the floor, don't go up any higher!"

I stood there and waited for Butters. He sped up his pace too, but he was still going slow. Maybe I should have just asked the nurse for his room number and came by myself, it would have been much quicker anyway. Butters came up the stairs and I opened the door.

"What's his room number?" Butters gave me a blank stare.

"W-Why do you have to know?"

"Because I can get there a lot faster if I don't have to wait for you!"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"Butters! What's the number?" I didn't understand why Butters was being so difficult, the only reason he would is to make sure my feelings didn't get hurt and... oh god, did something really really bad happen to Craig?

"4...407. But please Tweek..."

I started running down the hallway without even hearing Butters. What if something really bad happened to him? Well I know something bad happened to him, or he wouldn't be in here. The way Butters was making it seem though, what if he was really dying?

I ran down the hallway and saw the numbers flying by; 390, 395, 397, 400, 403...

407.

I stopped and stared at the door for a moment. Just as I thought, my heart was pounding so fast I though it was going to burst. I put my hand on the doorknob, but didn't turn it. I heard Butters running down the hallway.

"Tweek, wait!"

I swung opened the door at the sound of his voice and my eyes went wide. Craig was in the bed, cuts and bruises all over his face. He was attached by a tube to a blood bag, and he had an oxygen tank breathing for him. At first I thought that _THAT_ is what I was shocked about, but I realized after that it wasn't. I finally knew what Butters was trying to warn me about...

Beside Craig's bed, sitting on the chair, was Kenny. Holding onto his hand.

Kenny looked up at me and looked just as shocked as I did. I felt myself getting angry, and I heard Butters run up behind me.

"Uhh... Tweek." Butters put his hands on my shoulders and tried to turn me around, but I kept my eyes on Kenny. "K-Kenny was the one that found him. We sure are lucky right? I-If it wasn't for Kenny, Craig would be..."

"GET OUT!" I was angry, and I couldn't help it anymore. Kenny made me... made me feel angry at Craig. He was the one that made me and Craig stop talking. This was _HIS_ fault.

"B-but Tweek!" I glared at Butters and made him shut up. I began walking over to Kenny.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" That was almost the first time I've ever sworn in my life. After hanging around Craig so long, its hard not to randomly say a swear or two, but I controlled myself very good until this moment. Seeing Kenny, I began to lose control. I grabbed onto Kenny's arm and made him stand up to face me.

"Tweek, I'm sorry I..."

I slapped him. Hard. I didn't even notice I did that until after I felt a burning on my hand and saw the red mark forming on Kenny's face. Butter's let out an innocent gasp from behind.

"I said... get out..." I still couldn't believe I hit Kenny. I was never a violent person, at most I yelled but I never once hit someone. After that Kenny just left the room, without a word. Butters tried to talk to him but I guess he didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Tweek..." I sat down besides Craig's bed, in the spot Kenny was. I looked at him, and he looked even worse up close. He had a couple of stitches on his face, and a whole bunch of other cuts. He had two black eyes and a horrible bruise forming on his jaw line. When I was a kid I cried in front of people all the time, but now that im older its harder for me to show such a weakness around anyone but Craig. I tried to hold in my tears, but it didn't work.

I bursted out crying, just as bad as when I was at Clyde's house. I grabbed Craig's limp hand and put my head down on his bed to hide the tears, but I couldn't hide the sounds from Butters. He came over and put his hand on my back.

"Its okay Tweek, Craig will be fine..." I tried to stop making the noises and I wiped my eyes from the tears.

"Can you do something for me Butters?"

"Sure buddy, anything..."

"Go... go get a doctor or something. I want to talk to them..."

"Alright."

Butters left the room and I stood up from the chair. I sat down on a space on Craig's bed and stared down at him. I ran my fingers down his face, trying my best not to touch the stitches or cuts. A tear fell onto his arm and I quickly rubbing it off. I noticed bad bruising on his arm too, and I lifted up the blanket to check the other one. It was the same, bruised just as badly or maybe worse then the other. Suddenly I saw something I've never seen on him before. A scar, going right down his wrist. It looked older, and suddenly I started to panic.

_Oh god, Craig wouldn't have... would he?_

I felt the tears fall faster and I rubbed my fingers across the scar. There was no way that was an accident, it was too perfectly positioned. The only way this could have happened is if he did it to himself. Thoughts raced through my mind.

_Why would he do this to himself?_

_Why wouldn't he tell me about this?_

_Was I really such a bad boyfriend that I wouldn't realize something like this?_

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard to door open. I looked up to see a doctor standing there, no Butters.

"Hello. You must be Craig's friend, what can I do for you?"

"I-I want to know what happened to him. What's wrong with him, and if... if he's going to be alright."

I felt tears sting my eyes again, I didn't want to cry in front of the doctor.

"Well, we aren't too sure what happened to him. Mainly all he has is deep cuts, but he has a broken shoulder and several broken ribs. He lost a large amount of blood, and he has bad bruises on his stomach and chest that are causing his natural breathing to slow. The way the bruises formed; they were most likely caused from a pipe or crowbar. Which would probably be the cause of his fractured skull. We helped him to the best of our abilities, but he lost a lot of blood and we aren't too sure yet. Since he was found in an area of town that has a lot of associations with the drug community and he had a fair amount of drug content in him, we figured that he got badly beaten by a dealer or another druggie. Something like that at least."

I looked down again at Craig. Since he got beat up in Kenny's neighborhood I'm guessing he was down there looking for drugs, what else would you find down there? I looked down at his wrist and sighed.

"What about this scar? W-was that caused by this too?"

"That scar; it's too old to have happened recently. Its too far healed up to have happened during the beating. I was actually going to ask his parents if they knew anything about that when they got here, but I haven't been able to get in contact with them. I phoned his house, but nobody answered. How well do you know Craig?"

"I use to think I knew him perfectly... but I guess I was wrong." The Craig I knew would never hurt himself. The Craig I knew loved himself too much to hurt himself. The Craig I knew loved **me** too much to hurt himself, and me, like that.

"Do you know of any way I could contact his parents? Im sure they are worried..."

"He only lives with his dad, and that bastard isn't worried..." I felt bad about cutting the doctor off, and swearing. I don't know what was happening to me, I'm not like this at all.

"Oh. So his life at home..."

"Sucks." I cut him off again. Damn it, I hate this side of me. I didn't even know it existed.

"You don't think this could have been his dad's fault, do you?" I looked back up at the doctor.

"H-He was probably looking for drugs and got in trouble. Craig... owes a lot of money to a lot of people down there. I wouldn't doubt that his dad would do this to him... but I'm sure this time his dad had nothing to do with it..."

"This time?" I wondered if I was saying too much.

"I-I don't want to explain." The doctor just nodded his head and began to head for the door.

"If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask me." He smiled and walked out the door.

After the doctor left, I laid down on the bed besides Craig. I looked at the stitches on his face and wonder what he was thinking at that moment. I brought my face closer and kissed him on his cheek. I also wondered when he stopped telling me everything, or if he ever did. I put my one arm across his chest and closed my eyes.

A minute later I felt someone tap on my shoulder.

"Tweek... Tweek..."

I looked up and saw Butters. He smiled at me.

"Where did you go?" Butters looked away from me at that moment.

"I...I went to see if Kenny was alright..." I felt bad about hitting him. I know I shouldn't, I've never been more mad at anyone in my entire life. I'm just not a mean person.

"Visiting hours are over, we gotta go back home."

"Im not going." Butters looked shocked.

"W-What?! What do you mean you aren't going home? Wont your parents be worried?"

"I want you to call them for me. I don't want to leave Craig alone, I want to be here the moment he wakes up."

"I-I don't know if your allowed to or..."

"Its okay, he can stay."

I looked over to see the doctor standing there, the same one as before.

"A-Are you sure doctor?"

"He isn't hurting anyone, I'm sure he'll be fine. Besides, there's a lot of people who refuse to go back home when someone they care about is in the hospital. Technically they aren't allowed, but I wont tell if you wont."

Butters looked shocked, but I couldn't help to smile.

"Thank you doctor."

"No problem, but you young man. Sadly, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now." Butter's tried to put up a fight, saying that if I got to stay here then he should be able to too, but the doctor declined him over and over again and eventually Butter's left. The doctor left too without a word.

_Next time I see him, I have to find out his name..._

I laid back down and stared at Craig. Its weird that even with all those cuts and bruises he still looks so good. I nuzzled in a bit closer to him. I could smell his scent, and I suddenly felt calm again. I slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

.

:x:

.

"Tweek..."

I woke up when I heard someone calling my name. I looked up and glared. It was Kenny.

"I thought I said I didn't want you in here anymore. I don't want you around Craig!"

"Please! Tweek, please. Im not here to see Craig... I wanted to talk to you." It took me a while, and I considered telling him to fuck off. I felt bad though, remembering how I hit him the other day and all. Craig always joked around with me that I was too soft for my own good. I nodded my head and sat up. For a while, me and Kenny just looked at each other. I didn't even realize how blue his eyes were. Not as blue as Craig's of course, but still. He also had messy blonde hair like mine, but mine was longer, and a lot messier. It was almost like looking at me and Craig's love child. I held back a laugh at that thought. It was starting to get really awkward, and I just wish he'd stop looking at me. Plus, I wondered what he was thinking.

"Well?" I think I snapped him out of a deep thought or something, because he looked pretty shocked at the sudden sound of my voice.

"Oh... sorry." Kenny looked away from me, and he looked sad. If I wasn't in a fight with him right now, I would tell him how cute he looked.

"That night... that you caught me and Craig..."

"Stop! Do we really have to talk about that?" I was getting angry again. That was the last thing I wanted to remember right now, and I especially didn't want to hear the obvious lies coming from Kenny's mouth.

"Please, I want to explain some things..." I sat still and quiet. He still didn't make eye contact with me.

"That night, well the night before. I went over to Craig's house... a-and I found him lying in a pool of his own fucking blood." My heart stopped for a minute. _The scar? _"I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to take him to a hospital, but I knew he would be mad! Plus he didn't even..."

He paused, but I didn't want him to. I wanted to hear more!

"And?" I was getting impatient waiting for him to continue.

"I don't know if Craig would like me telling you this, but I guess that night he got into a fight with his dad. He said some horrible things to Craig, or I'm guessing at least. There were no bruises or anything on him, so I guess he didn't get hit or anything. Whatever his dad said to him really got to him. Craig... Craig tried to kill himself."

I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true, right? Craig wouldn't do this to himself! He wouldn't do this to me... he just wouldn't.

"But we all know Craig could never hurt himself. Bastard barely even cut deep enough, if he really wanted to die he would have pressed deeper then that. I cleaned him up and put a bandage on him, and I put him into his bed so he wouldn't have to lay on the floor. I was going to leave, but I didn't want to leave him alone! He would probably be so scared the next day, I know _I_ would at least. Thinking I was dead, then waking up in my bed. So I decided to stay the night. I didn't even get to sleep, I just... watched him sleep. Not to sound like a creeper or anything. When he woke up the next morning, he was so scared. I don't even know if he remembered all of that night, but next thing I know he wanted to call you. I got so jealous, I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted him to be with _ME _then, not to be thinking about you! He tried to phone you, really. I made him stop, and next thing I knew I was kissing him. You seriously can't blame me for having a crush on him, can you?! I knew that he was with you, but he was so vulnerable at that moment... I had to take my chances. I know it was wrong, I didn't before but I do now!"

I was a little bit shocked at this. All this time I thought he was plotting on how to steal Craig away from me or something like that. I didn't even know...

"I don't even deserve your forgiveness, but I had to tell you."

I saw a tear go down his cheek. Was he actually crying?

"I just... don't want you to hate Craig anymore. He only did what he did because he thought you would never talk to him again. He thought you hated him, and he couldn't live with that fact! I know it... that has to be the reason. He really loves you."

I started crying too. Fuck, not in front of Kenny.

"I never got to say..." Kenny looked up at me, tears still streaming down his face. "Thank you. Thank you so much for saving Craig."

I didn't want to forgive him, but it was kind of hard after hearing that. At first I thought he might have been lying to me to be able to see Craig again, but after seeing him actually start crying.

"Im so sorry Tweek. I never meant for any of this to happen. Its... its all my fault." He started crying and I hugged him. Just like Clyde did for me to calm me down, I thought it would help. We just stayed like that for a while, until Kenny calmed down enough. He left the room without saying another word to me.

A few minutes after Kenny left, I heard the door open again and a nurse came it.

"I just wanted to check his stats out." She smiled at me and walked over to the monitors. I decided to give her some space so I stepped out of the room and decided to get some coffee. Luckily it was so early in the morning not many people were here, so the elevators came fast. They had a Harbucks downstairs and I ordered the biggest coffee I could. I haven't had any in pretty much a whole day, and it was driving me insane! When I went back up to the room I saw the nurse removing the oxygen mask from Craig's face, and I thought of the worst.

"Is everything okay?!" I ran into the room, almost spilling my coffee.

"Yes, he's fine. His breathing has come back to pretty much normal, so I'm going to see how he does without the mask for a bit." She smiled at me, and I calmed down a lot. This hospital was doing horrible things to me.

"If you notice anything happen to him, then just press this button and one of the nurses will come immediately." She pointed to a red button on the wall.

"I will, thank you." I smiled at her, and she smiled back. When she left the room I sat down on the chair again and let my heart calm down, it was going a mile per minute. I looked at Craig, without the mask on your could see the cut on his lip. I would never tell Craig this, I guess because I would sound like a pervert, but I always thought lip cuts were kind of hot. It gives a kind of rough appearance to a person, and it always makes me want to kiss it better. I felt like a pervert looking at him now. Kenny was right, when Craig was vulnerable it was even hotter. Just to know that in this room there was nobody but me and him and he was unconscious. I could do whatever I wanted to him, and he or anyone else would never know. I felt myself blush and snapped myself out of these thoughts. I felt like a horribly dirty pervert right now. I wish Craig would just wake up already.

I heard the door open and looked up. This almost felt like a soap opera to me; all these sudden entrances with different people, always shocking the main character. Its not my fault though, I'm just a jumpy person. Then I saw my parents walk in.

_Yupp, just like a soap opera._

"Tweek Tweak! Your coming home right this minute!" My father came over to me, and my mother went straight to Craig.

"Richard, stop it! Can't you see he's worried about his friend?" My mom was always the nicer one, my dad was way to protective.

"This is crazy that he's trying to stay over all these nights! He has chores to do, and homework to do. He has school to go to! He can't be staying here all the time!"

"Please! I want to stay with him dad, I don't want to leave his side!" My parents both looked at me, and its almost like I gave my confession to them. I guess I didn't have to make it sound _SO_ gay.

"What if we brought his homework here to do, you would do it right sweetie?" I nodded my head and looked at my dad. He didn't look impressed.

"You're just like him..." I tilted my head at my dads comment. Another habit of mind Craig laughed at, he said I looked like a dog. My dad left the room without even explaining.

"How is he doing?" I looked over at my mom who was brushing the hair out of Craig's face.

"Nobody knows really. He's breathing on his own again, so I guess he's slowly getting better."

"That's at least good, I was so worried when I heard." My mother has always liked Craig. Probably because he was the first person who actually became my friend, and my mom was thankful for that.

"Mom, what was dad talking about?" She looked over at me. "He said 'you're just like him...' before he left, what did he mean?" Mother chuckled a bit.

"When your dad was younger he got into a car crash and had to be hospitalized. His best friend stayed at his side every moment of the day. I guess he missed an important date or something, and your dad has felt very guilty about that."

"Dad had a best friend?" My dad was more of the loner type, so I didn't know he had any friends. Besides mom of course.

"When they were in high school they were inseparable, I guess they met in elementary school and were best friends ever since. Kind of like you and Craig, huh?"

_Not exactly..._

I laughed. "So, why didn't I hear about him until now?"

"They lost contact with each other years go." Mom got a sad look on her face. "Your father took over the coffee shop, and he went off to college in Oregon. They haven't talked since."

I felt bad for dad. They sounded really close, and I could only imagine how it would feel if I ever stopped talking or seeing Craig. I guess I'm a lot closer to Craig then dad was to his friend, but im sure it hurt just as much.

"Is he okay?"

"He still takes it hard, they were really good friends. Said they would open there own business together. I guess things change over the years." She grabbed my hand, I hated it when mom did that. "Make sure you don't lose what's most important to you, okay sweetie? I don't want to see you hurt like that too."

My mom headed towards the door, but stopped.

"Ill talk to your father about letting you stay here, im definitely sure he'll let you." She smiled. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too mom. Thank you." She left the room and I looked at Craig.

_Don't lose what's most important to you..._

Mom was right. I guess mothers are always right. I was so close to losing Craig, and over what? A misunderstanding like that. I couldn't believe I let myself get so angry. I knew Craig loved me, and I shouldn't have freaked out like I did.

I went and sat down beside him again. I leaned over and kissed him on the lip, disappointed when I didn't feel him kiss back. I guess this isn't as much like a soap opera as I though. If it was, I would have leaned over to kiss him and he would have miraculously woken up from his unconsciousness and we would have lived happily ever after, until a guy with an eye patch came to ruin it all by trying to murder one of us...

My thoughts were getting way to wild this time. I laughed and took a sip of my coffee, which got cold. I drank it anyway, I mean coffee was still coffee right? Hot or cold.

There was a TV in Craig's room, I grabbed the remote and turned it on. I began flipping through the channels and found that Red Racer was on. I forgot that it was on either really early in the morning, or in the afternoon. It was on during school in the morning, so Craig would always have to run home after school to be able to watch it. Even in high school he still watches it, even if the series ended years ago and all he watches is re-runs. I remember watching the last episode of Red Racer with Craig, he cried. Not that I could tell _ANYONE_ that though. He didn't even like people knowing he still watched it.

I laughed and thought about the first time me and Craig connected. In the hospital room, watching Red Racer.

"Almost like the first moments, hey Craig?" I laughed, this was all to weird. Years later, and we were in the exact same situation. Only I wasn't hurt this time, and Craig was twice as hurt.

I leaned over and kissed Craig again. The first time we kissed was during an episode of Red Racer too. I guess this show was more apart of my life then I knew.

"I love you Craig."

I was hoping that he would wake up soon. I missed his voice.

.

:x:

.

It was a little over a week, and still no sign of Craig regaining consciousness. I watched more episodes of Red Racer then I ever have in my life, it brought back so many good memories. Every day, twice a day, a nurse would come in to check on Craig and me. I became pretty good friends with one. Her name was Dorothy, and she just started nursing two months ago. We talked about a lot of things, and I accidentally spilled my relationship with Craig. She was completely cool with it though, which I am thankful for. She said that if I ever needed to talk to someone she would be there for me, and I was thankful for that too. My only friend was unconscious, and I really had nobody else to talk to. Token and Clyde came in too. It was the first time the four of us were together in so long. Token and me talked for a long time, catching up on a lot of thing. I guessed he finally started talking to that one goth kid he liked, and got the guts to ask him out. I thought that was so cute, and Clyde laughed at him and slapped him on the back. Clyde stole the chair so I sat on his lap, but he countered by hugging onto my waist. I demanded up after that, and he easily let go of me. I was thinking about how I thought I had a crush on Clyde, but that's over with. I guess I was just happy how much he was helping me out. Token also brought flowers and a little teddy bear with "get well" written across a balloon the bear was holding. Clyde laughed at that too, he was always making jokes out of everything. They calmed me down a lot though. They visited almost every day. A couple of days I knew they had football practice, but I understood that. Besides, I like having the privacy to sit there talking to Craig like he was still awake. I even made him talk back to me in my head, which was totally weird but I got to hear things I wanted to. I made him tell me things like that he loved me, and that he was sorry, and that we was feeling much better. Butters visited every day too. Sometimes people had to come in to get Butters out of the room at closing time because he refused to leave. I never though he would be so sad about Craig's situation. They are a lot closer then I though. Stan, Kyle and Kenny came in too, mainly just to visit Craig. Me and Kenny talked for a bit though after Stan and Kyle left. It was still awkward around him, but we were trying to make it better. My parents came in a few more times too, and my dad brought me coffee. _A LOT_ of coffee. Jimmy and Wendy even came in once too. I was surprised, but I guess I forgot how good of friend Jimmy and Craig were. Wendy even dragged Bebe in with her, even though everyone knows Bebe hates Craig, for some reason I don't even know. It was nice to see that so many people cared for him though.

I sat down on the chair and rested my head on Craig's bed. I stood up after a few minutes and stared down at him, I didn't want to sleep right now. It was night now, and the moonlight reflected off his skin making him look even more pale. It was scary, he almost looked dead. It was a good look for him though. His lips were slightly open and I ran my finger across them. I would do anything right now to be able to kiss him as passionately as I use to. Its been so long.

I went to go close the curtains on the window, but I turned my head at a sudden grunting sound I heard. I looked around the room and then down at Craig. I saw his eyes slowly open, then close again.

"Craig?!"

* * *


	8. My Promise

**Disclamer: Blah Blah Blah... yah yah i dont own South Park. But i will tell you what i do own... my new kick as pair of shoes, thats what i own.**

Holy Shi-!! Look who's back? After a much needed (not overly...) vacation, im finally back.

And also, another brilliant note to you faithful people... this is the last chapter of this bullshit before i start back in with the actual storyline i had in my head. Quite amazing now aint it?

You should all thank my one friend, who i wont name. But because of a conversation i had with him today it made me want to continue writing, and i decided i wouldn't stop until this chapter was finished! And maybe now that im back to the actual storyline ill be more excited to write it.

This story isn't angsty enough for me anymore, so ill have to take it up a notch. Next chapter will be quite a treat to you readers, so stay tuned xx

I appologise to you people, i know im slow. But as i always say and probably said a million times before, just have faith in me... ill always be back.

And yah, i know i went alittle crazy over changing the POV in this chapter, but im so happy i can write as Craig again! It was killing me.

* * *

"Craig!"

I tried to restrain myself as best I could from jumping on him, but it just wouldn't work. I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, tears already falling down my cheeks.

"Calm yourself kid, I'm injured here!" It was so good to hear his voice again. I heard him chuckle at his own comment and I bursted out laughing, I was so happy. I raised my head from his shoulders and still on top of him looked into his eyes. Black circles still formed around them, but they were alive! Alive and sparkling like always before. Not losing that deep shade of sapphire blue they always were, not losing a hint of life.

Without even saying a word I brought my face up closer to his and kissed him. Passionately, like I wanted to for the longest time. After watching him lay there virtually lifeless for what feels like an eternity, I couldn't help myself. We stayed like that for a while until I unwillingly pulled back. I lingered around his lips for a while, my lips more resting on his chin then on his own. It felt so good to be close to him like this again, I never thought once in my life I would ever get the chance to miss this.

"Craig, im so happy your okay! I was so... so scared!" I continuously kissed him. Just simple pecks, but over and over again until I moved down to his chin, then to his neck.

I felt Craig put his hand on my face and pull my head up to his level.

"You feel lighter, have you lost weight? How long has it been since you ate something?!"

"I couldn't leave your side Craig! Whenever the nurse came up to check on you I would go down and get some coffee... but besides that overly nothing. I wanted you to know I was here for you! I didn't want you waking up and me not being here, I wanted to be here for you first thing when you opened your eyes! I-" Craig didn't even let me finish explaining myself before he pulled me in for a kiss again. I was crying and shaking uncontrollably, and I know he was trying to calm me down. I didn't want Craig thinking I was starving myself for anything, there just hasn't been any time to eat.

"You have to look after yourself too, Tweek. Or else we both lose." I rested my head in between his neck and shoulder again. I was so calm now, so... so happy. I thought I heard him make a slight groan...

"Your gonna have to roll off of me here babe, your right on my ribs..." I sat up the second I heard that. I looked down at Craig; I almost forgot how badly he was hurt.

"I-Im sorry, I just got overexcited and..."

"You don't have to apologies, I'm just as happy as you are." He reached out and put his hand on my cheek. I grabbed it and brought it closer to my face and kissed his knuckles. I can't believe I almost let something so stupid come between us.

"Im so sorry Tweek."

"You don't have to say sorry Craig! This isn't your fault..."

"This_ IS_ my fault! I never meant to hurt you." I squeezed his hand tighter, he was going to make me cry. "Ill change, I'll get better! I promise..."

"I love you Craig..."

"I love you too Tweek." He pulled me down, and I laid beside him. I moved in closer to him, and he wrapped his one arm around me; the other still connected to the blood bag. I rested my head on his shoulder for a second before kissing him on the cheek. I heard him gasp and through the bright moonlight shining on his face, I could have sworn I saw him blush.

"Thanks for coming back to me..." I smiled and laid my head back down, there was no way I was getting to sleep tonight.

--

I woke up in what seemed to be forever. I felt a sharp pain on my ribs and brought my hand up to rub it, almost forgetting some where broken. I tried to think back to that night as best I could, wondering why I let it go so far. Remembering how at that moment, I was so done with life I didn't care what happened to me. Not even realizing how much I would hurt Tweek...

_Tweek._

I sat up a little too fast and felt pain start all over. I laid back down, remember last night he was here. Last night when I first woke up he was here with me, jumped on me, and slept beside me. At least he got a good sleep last night, it looks as if he hasn't slept in days. I stayed up all night, I couldn't get to sleep. At least I thought I couldn't get to sleep. I looked around the room wondering where Tweek went. I know, or at least hope, that he wouldn't leave me here alone.

A couple minutes later I heard the door swing open and in came a smiling Tweek, carrying some food in one hand and a coffee in the other.

"Craig, your up!" His face lit up even more and it made me smile. He put the food down on a table and dragged the chair closer to me. He made a slight groan at the sound of the chair legs scrapping against the floor, it hurt my ears too.

"How are you feeling?" I slowly sat up this time, not pushing myself too hard. My ribs hurt a bit, but not as much as before.

"Im a lot better." It was true too. My shoulder barely hurt anymore, and even though I broke it it was already out of the cast. I knew I had a cut on my face, since last thing I remember of that night is being hit in the face, but that didn't even hurt. The only thing that slightly hurt was still my ribs, but I know that would take a while to heal. I remember when Clyde broke one of his ribs in gym class in grade 7, he could barely move for an entire month. They had to take him out of the gym on a stretcher, and he was crying horribly. Which made me, Token and Tweek laugh. Clyde knew his crying sounded pathetic and hilarious, but he was still pissed at all of us for laughing. I started laughing thinking about it, and I started to wonder if anyone else besides Tweek came to visit me. Not that it mattered, all I really wanted was Tweek. I looked on my bedside table to see flowers and a little teddy bear. I bursted out laughing.

"Craig? What's so funny?" I couldn't stop laughing for some reason. That bear was just so... so lame.

"Who the hell brought in that bear?!" I tried to hold in the laughter, but that made it come out even more. It was starting to really hurt my ribs, so I laid back down.

"T-Token did. When he came to visit with Clyde... why... why is that funny?!" I felt tears going down my cheek, I don't think I've laughed to hard in a long long time.

"Oh god! It hurts!." I heard Tweek start laughing too.

"Stop laughing, your making me laugh!" After a while we were both laughing as hard as we could. My ribs hurt like hell, and Tweek and grabbing at his stomach from the pain. Finally I started to calm down.

"That's so lame! Oh my god!" I wondered if that retarded teddy bear was really the reason I laughed so hard, or if I was so happy I was alive that I took advantage of it to let out all my happiness.

"Hey I thought it was cute!" Tweek grabbed the teddy bear off the side table and hugged it. I never thought I would ever be jealous of a teddy bear.

"Why the fuck would Token even do that?! I'm never letting go of this one, it will haunt him to his grave!" I grabbed the teddy bear out of Tweek's arms and threw it across the room.

"He was worried about you, dummy. So was everyone else." He pushed me back down onto the bed and sat beside me, brushing strands on hair out of my face.

"Who else came by?" Maybe it would have been better if I didn't ask...

"Well, Butter's came by pretty much every day. He'll probably come by later if you stay up that long. Of course Token and Clyde did. Kyle, Stan and Kenny..."

"Kenny?!" I sat back up, almost knocking Tweek off the bed. I felt a sharp pain on my ribs again and gasped. "Why the fuck was he here?!"

"C-Craig, lay back down!" Tweek tried to push me back down onto the bed but I pulled away.

"What happened?! Are you okay? He didn't do anything to you did he? Or say anything? That asshole... why did he have to.."

"Craig! Its okay, calm down. Me and him talked it over... we're okay now." I looked up at him, I was a bit shocked. Just like that... they were okay?

"W-What?" I was so confused now...

"At first when I saw him in the hospital room, I was so mad at him. I was yelling at him to get out and I-I slapped him." I sat their for a moment, completely shocked. I tried to hold in a chuckle, but it didn't work. Tweek looked up at me and I bursted out laughing again.

"You slapped him?!" I continued laughing, and Tweek blushed bright red. "Hell yah! That's my boy." I smiled and put my hand on his shoulder. I never thought Tweek would have the balls to actually hit someone, especially Kenny! I was actually proud of him.

"I didn't mean to Craig, its not like im proud of myself! I was just so mad, I hit him. Then after a while, we actually talked and... its still a bit awkward around him, but we're making it work."

"Are you sure your alright with that?" I moved my hand and placed it on his cheek, he actually looked like he was embarrassed or something.

"Yah, I guess so." He smiled at me. I guess this is between him and Kenny. Personally, im still pissed at Kenny, even if it was mainly my fault.

"Anyway, Jimmy and Wendy came by too. Wendy even dragged Bebe along too, you should have seen how pissed off she was. It was hilarious! Even my mom and dad came to visit a couple of times. It was mainly just my dad forcing my homework on me, but my mom was really concerned about you. I know secretly my dad was too, and..."

"No sign from _my_ family, huh?" Tweek looked at me quite shocked, and I was pretty shocked too. Not that I cared if they were here or not. No, I didn't care; right?

"...no. I-I don't even think they know you are gone." I laid back down on the bed, why was I getting so pissed off? Its not like I was actually expecting them to have come by or anything. If they don't care, then I shouldn't care what they think either right? Of course they wouldn't care...

"Oh, they know im gone. It just doesn't matter..." Tweek laid down beside me and put his arm around my neck, pulling me in closer until my head touched his chest. I don't know why, its not like I was upset because they didn't care or anything. I was so use to that, it was just a normal thing. Fuck, Tweek could always see right threw me.

"Its okay Craig, you don't need them. Im here for you, and I always will be." I wrapped my arms around Tweek, trying to hold in tears. Like fuck I would ever let him see me cry. Well, besides the Red Racer incident, but that was different. Red Racer ended, a part of my childhood died. This should be just another normal thing for me.

.

:x:

.

I think I must have passed out, because next thing I know I hear an annoying screeching and feel something heavy jump onto of me, taking all the air out of my lungs.

"What the fuck?!"

"Oh Craig ol' buddy, your alive! Your alive! I thought you were gonna die and I would be here all alone!" I pushed the lump off of my and looked down at the floor, seeing Butter's lying there rubbing his head. Tweek was laughing in the background.

"Fucking Christ Butters! Anyone tell you about **personal space!**" Butters got up again like nothing ever happened and locked his arms around my neck again as I tried to pry him off.

"I thought you were dead Craig, im _so so so so so _happy!"

"Butters cut it out! Get off me!" He finally let go, and I looked over to see Tweek practically rolling on the floor laughing.

"Gee Craig, you scared me half to death! What the hell did you think you were doing?!" Butters hit me on the arm, but he was so weak I barely felt anything. I heard a noise coming from outside the door and saw another blonde-haired kid standing there. I already knew...

"Kenny?" The blonde mess jumped and swung around, and of course it was Kenny. He looked at me with sad blue eyes, but I didn't feel any type of sympathy for him.

"I-I brought Kenny. 'Cause he wanted to see if you were better. We didn't know you were awake yet, heck if I did I would have tried to sneak in some good food for you!"

"Should I leave?" Everyone turned around to face Kenny, still standing in the doorway. He looked down at the floor.

"Ye.."

"No Kenny, you can stay." I looked over at Tweek. He was standing up for Kenny?

"Tweek!"

"Craig..." He just looked at me. Fuck, I couldn't say no to those green eyes.

Kenny slowly walked into the room, not staring at anyone. It got awkward after that, everyone was silent. Nobody moved for a long time until out of the corner of my eye I saw Tweek heading towards the door.

"Common Butters, we should go for a bit." Butters jumped at the sudden call of his name. He turned his head to look at Tweek before standing up to follow behind him.

"Tweek?! What the fuck!" How could he leave me alone with Kenny? Tweek knew for a fact I couldn't do anything about it, fuck I was practically tied down to the bed with all these wires sticking into me. Plus Kenny would never refuse a chance to be alone with me.

Tweek didn't say a word, not even look back at me, before he closed the door behind him. Kenny looked right at me, he looked a bit scared. I guess I was too...

--

I heard the door click behind me before finally started breathing again. I knew Craig didn't want to be left alone with Kenny, but this needed to stop. All the awkward tension in the room whenever Kenny was around, if anything _I _needed it to stop. Butters walked past me and sat down on the couch, patting the spot beside basically bagging me to sit. I gave in after a minute and went to sit down beside him, I knew exactly what he was going to ask.

"Why did you do that? You know how mad Craig will be..."

"I know." Butters quickly looked down at his feet, trying to avoid eye contact.

"You aren't worried?" I laughed.

"Worried about what? That Craig won't ever talk to me again? Im not worried about that anymore..." Butters sat up and walked back over to the door, cupping his ear and holding it against the door.

"There isn't anything going on in there. I thought by now I would hear things breaking but... maybe Craig's actually keeping his cool."

Butters kept listening, and I got to thinking. Craig was finally awake, and now that I knew he was alive I was happy. I wanted him to be happy too, but what could I do to make him happy? What was the one thing that would make him feel better than anything...

Then finally I thought of it. I got up and headed towards the door.

"Butters, stay here and watch out for them okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"There's something I have to do... I'll be back in a bit."

With that I pushed open the doors and headed towards the hospital exit.

.

:x:

.

His house has always been dark looking. It just gave an atmosphere of hate, some kind of darkness that can't even be explained. My thoughts kept telling me to run away and to not go up to it, but my heart was only thinking about Craig. I took a deep breathe and continued up the steps to Craig's house. I exhaled as I knocked on the door and waited for whatever was about to come.

The door slowly opened and I got a big whiff of alcohol, it made me cringe. I looked up to see the tired old man looking back at me. Dark circles under his eyes, messy red hair, dirty clothes and even more portly then ever. Looking back at me was Thomas, Craig's father, already drunk and practically falling over.

"What the hell you doin' here?" He scared the shit out of me. Out of everything else on this Earth I never felt anything like when I was standing in front of him.

"I-I needed to talk to you..."

--

It was awkwardly silent again and it was pissing me off. Kenny just sat in the chair with his head down. I just sat there staring out the window, wondering how the fuck Tweek could do this to me. I heard Kenny cough and it caused me to look at him, he was looking up at me. His eyes looked sad.

"Im so sorry Craig, if you want to me leave I will but..."

"Like fuck you will. You wouldn't listen to me even if I pleaded." Kenny looked back down at the floor, it looked like he was about to cry. No matter how cute he was I wasn't going to feel sorry if I made him cry.

"I never wanted to you hate me."

"Yah and I never wanted you to ruin my fucking life, but shit happens." I didn't want to be here with him, anything but this. Everything that has happened up till now has been his fault, or was it mine?

"Please Craig, Tweek forgave me why cant you?! I just want everything to go back to what it use to be..."

_It was my fault._

"Craig?"

_It was my fault._

"It was my fault, wasn't it?" The room went quiet again, I could practically hear Butters struggling to listen to us from outside the door.

"No, it wasn't." I looked up at Kenny. "It was both of our faults."

I thought Kenny would have blamed everything on me, or at least tried to blame everything on himself to get me to like him again. Maybe Kenny really did change back to that kid he use to be.

"Hey Kenny...?" He looked at me, and the room went silent once again. I don't even know if I would let myself say this...

--

Slowly Thomas backed away into the house, door still opened. I took that as a 'whatever, just come in' notion. His house looked the exact same, beer bottles everywhere, a whiskey bottle on the table and the smell of smoke everywhere. He laid back down on the couch and I took the seat right beside. It went silent, I was actually to scared to speak. What if I accidentally said something to piss him off and he ended up killing me and nobody ever knew what happened to me and Craig thought I left him so he got really mad at me and swore to hate me for the rest of eternity? Having so much coffee in my life definitely made my mind run wild. Like that would ever happen. I heard the whiskey bottle clank on the table and it made me jump. Thomas looked at me with dark eyes.

"Yah came here for a reason didntcha?" I nodded.

"Then why the fuck yah here? Start talking boy or I'm gonna kick you out."

_Im doing this for Craig._ I just had to keep reminding myself of that...

"H-Haven't you been wondering where Craig is lately?"

"Don't know, don't fucking care."

I gulped before I could even think of continuing. Something inside told me to run, _fast._

"He's... He's in the hospital." It was silent after that, maybe his dad really did care?

"What did that fucker get into this time?"

"I..." Fuck, I was stuttering. "I think he would r-really like it if y-you came to... you know, visit him..." Thomas looked over at me, taking a long drag from his smoke. Then he started laughing.

"What the fuck makes you think he cares about something like that? He likes me about as much as I like him, and their isn't much there kid."

"He still loves you!" Thomas looked a bit shocked, I was getting pissed off. "O-Of course he loves you! You're his father, you and his sister are the only family he has left since his mom left! He wanted everything to go back to normal but you decided to take out all your anger and frustration on him, and he didn't even do anything! You always blame him for your wife leaving, but did you ever once think it was your fault!" Before I even realized it, I was yelling.

I saw Thomas raise from the couch and the voice came back into my head.

_Run..._

_Run..._

_RUN!_

He walked closer to me, and I was frozen in fear. I couldn't move. His hands were curled into fists, I knew I should have ran...

"You about done?" I didn't say anything.

"Then I think its about time you fucking leave." I stood up and began to head toward the door relieved, before I felt a hand grab my arm. Before I knew it I was on the ground, my shoulder hurting from the sudden contact. He grabbed onto the collar of my sweater and dragged me to his eye level.

"I had nothing to do with that fucking bitch leaving, and you better get it through your dumb fucking skull or I'll make it." With that I felt his fist hit my face before my head met the ground. Thomas got up and walked over to the couch, continuing to flip through the channels like nothing just happened. I got up and walked quickly out the door.

--

"Yah Craig?"

"I hate this. I don't hate you, I just... you know. Was pissed off I guess? Maybe not so much at you but at myself. But I just... I don't know." I hated things like this, it made me feel like such a pussy.

"What are you saying?" Fuck, he's really gonna make me say it...

"I don't... I don't..."

"Craig?"

"I don't want to fight anymore." Kenny's eyes went wide, they got happier. At least I think they did, because it looked like he was going to cry again.

"So you forgive me?!"

"Yah, I forgive you. I'm... I'm you know..."

"Sorry?"

"Uhh, yah. That." I've never said I was sorry in my entire life, besides to Tweek. I wasn't about to say it now, but I guess I didn't have to. Kenny just knew, that was kind of a special gift he had. He always... just knew.

There was a loud crash that made me and Kenny both swing around to see Butters standing in the doorway. The biggest shit-grin across his face I've ever seen.

"You guys are friends again! This is just great! Now we can all be buddies together again, oh joy this is a great day!" Butters ran over to us and hugged Kenny. This was making me sick...

"Oh for fuck's sake Butters cut it out."

"Don't tell me you aren't as happy as I am about this!" Butters leaped at me again but I already had my arms out in defense. Butters was complaining, I was yelling, and Kenny was laughing. This was really just like old times.

I saw someone in the doorway and looked up to see Tweek. I was happy at first, but then got worried when I saw he was crying. Everyone else turned to look back at him too. Tweek just stood there, leaning against the doorframe.

"Can I talk to Craig, alone please?" Butters and Kenny nodded and walked out the door as Tweek came towards me. I sat up and Tweek fell into me for a hug.

"What happened to you?"

"Your dad's a fucking jerk."

I got really worried. I knew many things that could have happened if it involved my dad. If he hurt him i swear to... whatever is fucking up there, that Dad would be fucking dead...

* * *


	9. My Broken Promise

**Disclamer: South Park does not belong to me. Or maybe im trying to steal it for my own perverted reasons or...**

Wait?! WAIT A SECOND?

Im back?!

Who thought i was gone forever raise your hand!!! HAHAHAHA suckers,

you cant get rid of me that easily.

I know i havent updated in... how long has it been now?  
FOREVER?

But that DOESNT mean you can lose faith in me?

And for you people that actually read my story,

sadly for you it wont be going for much longer.

I do have a life you know?

**Just like always, if you kids see a spelling mistake TELL ME. Ive been taking E like a sonofabitch lately.**

**I dont know up from down let alone whats spelt right or wrong. **

* * *

"THAT FUCKER!"

"Craig, calm down!"

I sat up quickly attempting to stand, which thinking back to it was a bad idea. I felt a sharp pain shoot up my arm and looked down just in time to see the needle that connected the blood bag to my wrist rip out of my arm. I gasped in pain and sat back down on the bed, my hand covering the now bleeding wound. Tweek covered his mouth with his hand, and placed the other over top of my own.

"Oh god Craig, what should I do?!"

"Tweek... its okay. Nothing will happen..."

"I should call a nurse! Oh god, what if..."

"TWEEK!" Tweek calmed down and took a seat beside me. "I'll be fine, really..."

"I'm so sorry Craig..." I looked back at Tweek in shock.

"W-What?"

"I know I shouldn't have gone to your house. I knew what your dad would do and I was so scared but I thought it would make you happy. You sounded so sad when you heard none of your family came to visit you and I though that if I just convinced him you..."

I leaned in and kissed Tweek. Through the years I found this the easiest way of calming him down, especially since he had nothing to apologies for. I felt him kiss me back, but I ended the kiss quickly.

"Tweek, you don't get it do you? I don't need anyone else here but you; don't go jumping to these stupid conclusions on your own." I placed my hand on his cheek, watching him blush bright red. "You're the only one I need."

I grabbed Tweek and pulled him in closer to me, wrapping my arms around him.

"I was just... scared. He could have done so much more to you." I felt Tweek wrap his arms around my waist and rest his head in between my neck and shoulder.

"I only wanted to make you happy." I could barely hear Tweek being muffled by my neck, but suddenly I couldn't control myself.

I pushed Tweek down onto the bed and climbed on top. I kiss him, hard and passionately. He moaned and I felt him grab onto the front of my shirt. I also felt him trying to push me off of him, but that only excited me further. I rubbed at Tweek's hips making him moan. I took advantage of the moments and slipped my tongue inside his mouth, playing with his. Tweek placed his hands on my shoulder and tried to push back, and I released the kiss only for a second.

"Craig... wait... I... I can't... breathe." I pressed my lips back down onto his, not giving up this moment. Instead of pushing back, Tweek grabbed onto the back of my shirt and finally submitted. After a while he began pushing back, and this time I finally gave it up. A bit upset, I sat back up on the bed and let Tweek get a hold of himself. He sat up, still bright red, and looked at me with apologetic eyes.

"Sorry Craig I... I really need to talk to you. About all of this..."

_Fuck._

Something inside of me was hoping I would just get better and me and Tweek could forget all about it and go on. I never wanted to talk about it.

"Talk about what? I wanted drugs and I got the shit kicked out of me, we already talked about this..."

I got up off the bed and walked over to the window, opened it and lit a cigarette. We weren't suppose to smoke in the hospital, but hey... I thought the least I deserved was a smoke, plus anything to avoid this subject with Tweek. I looked over to see Tweek looked down to the floor, still sitting on the bed.

"Not that..."

I saw Tweek stand up and walk over to me. I took another drag of my smoke as Tweek put his hand overtop of mine, grabbed it and turned it over; revealing the long white scar, forcing me to remember everything of that night. I jumped back and pushed Tweek, watching him land backwards on the bed. My eyes widened and I felt myself getting angry.

"Craig, I want to know!"

"Mind your own fucking business!"

I didn't know if I was more angry or scared about Tweek finding out. A million thoughts were racing through my mind as I tried to head for the door, only to be blocked by Tweek. He threw me against the wall and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could have sworn he was crying...

"Please Craig... talk to me..."

"Stop it, I have nothing to say!"

I pushed Tweek back again, not realizing how hard I actually did. I saw him falling backwards, and then he hit the floor hard. I heard a loud bang, and then he screamed out in pain. I stayed by the wall and Tweek stayed on the floor. I couldn't believe what I just did. After way to long I ran over to him, feeling as bad as I did before.

"Tweek... I'm so sorry."

"W-what... what happened to us?"

A long silence, at least I was thinking back to how we use to be. Thinking about when we first started going out; how loving I use to be, how we use to smile and laugh, how everyday felt great. Now this, it was nothing but a disaster. I knew I made it like this. Tweek has done nothing else but try to help me through all of this, tried to make us work just like we use to. Love just like before. I was so happy; I thought nothing could ruin us. Nothing could get in the way of us, at least that was true until my first hard ball. Then I fell even more in love with drugs, and forgot about the only person who could ever love me. I let it control me for the longest time, but no matter how much I deny it... it still is. It's getting hard to control the craving, but I promised myself I would cut down. Maybe even someday quit. I felt Tweek's hand overtop of my own, and I tried my best not to start crying. I didn't want to lose him...

"I love you Craig, and I want you to trust me..."

"You don't think I trust you?"

"If you did, wouldn't you tell me?"

I felt his finger trace my wrist again and I pulled back in anger.

"Cant we just fucking drop this already?"

"It's not just something we can drop Craig! This is serious, you tried to kill your..."

I quickly covered his mouth before I snapped. Before I did something I would horribly regret later. Then I realized his lips were against my hand, and for the first time in months I remembered how soft they were. I must have really been out of it for the longest time not to remember. I moved my hand away and replaced them with my lips. Tweek made a squeak but immediately kissed back. I don't remember the last time I needed him so badly, or maybe this was just my way of trying to change the subject. I pushed him against the wall and continued kissing him. Softly at first but then started to get rougher, thinking back to how pissed off I was at him before. I was still mad; he should have minded his own fucking business. This was his fault.

Before I even knew it, my hand was up his shirt rubbing at any piece of skin possible. He tried to call out, I know it. My mouth blocked his own refusing him speech. He had no right to, not after that. I ended the kiss and moved my way down to his neck kissing and biting at his warm skin. He started to breathe heavier.

"Craig... stop..."

_Don't fucking lie to me._

I bit him again, harder this time. He yelped as I felt the warm liquid on my lips as the wound I inflicted started to bleed. He deserved it, and after all I've been through I deserved to do anything I wanted to him. _Anything._

I grabbed both his hands and pinned them above his head, only holding them with one of my own. The other one slowly gripped at the neck of his shirt and ripped it almost off. He tried to protest against it all he could, but he couldn't even budge me. I licked the soft flesh on his chest as he let out a slight moan, driving me insane. I released his hands to undo his belt and I was shocked to feel his arms slip around my neck instead of pushing back in protest again. I looked him in the eye, and for the first time in forever he kissed me as I slowly slid his pants off his too-thin waist. There was a 'thud' as they hit the floor. I kissed at his neck again, this time more passionately then angry. I rubbed my hands down his sides, to his hips and up again repeating for quite some time. He was so warm, and for some reason I felt so cold.

"Should we really be doing this? I mean... here?"

I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk right now, I just wanted... no. I just _needed_to feel him right now. To know he will always and forever be mine. My mind went back to reality as I felt his hands pulling at the waistline of my pants.

"If it's with you, I think its okay..."

I stopped for a second only to remove my shirt, and then went back to him. He was shaking a lot; more then normal anyway. His hands rested on my hips and I saw his eyes looking up and down my body like he's never seen it before. He began rubbing his hands up my stomach, up to my chest that was neatly wrapped in bandages over my ribs. I felt myself smirking as I kissed him hard again; breaking his concentration as I felt my pants fall to the ground. I looked at Tweek to see him bright red, thinking how cute I thought he was when he was nervous. I leaned forwards, letting my lips slightly touch his ear.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

He shivered every time my lips rubbed against his ear. He quickly nodded as I pinned him even closer to the wall and pushed our bodies closer together. He gasped as I lifted him up so he could wrap his legs around my waist, giving me complete dominance and freedom to do what ever it was I needed to do to him. To make him forever mine, and no matter what happened here I knew it was because of his cute face, the way he talked to me, the way he made me feel like everything was going to be okay. It was his fault for making me love him so fucking much.

.

:x:

.

I woke up the next morning alone, and feeling like shit. My ribs hurt again, putting too much pressure on them for how fragile they still are, and my mind making me think too much giving me a horrible headache. I sat up, considering calling the nurse for some T3's to at least ease my headache. As I sat up, I felt pain again in my wrist; I looked down to see the blood bag connecting back to my wrist. Tweek probably called the nurse to put it back in after…

_Tweek._

I looked around the room, forgetting the fact that Tweek slept next to me all night and was suddenly gone the next morning. That's never happened to me before, fucking someone then having _them_ leave me. I've done it to a few people, not that I'm proud to admit it. I laid back down on the bed, closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the exact events that happened last night; mainly about how it felt…

--

_I have to talk to him about this. There was no way I was going to let him off the hook about that. Okay, I know last night I got a little swept away but tonight it would NOT happen!_

I shook my head to get the thought out of my mind. I never thought my first time would be in a hospital, who knows how many people have died in that hospital; or in that room alone! The thought made me sick, so I took another sip of my coffee.

I was sitting at the Harbucks inside the hospital, dreading the moment I had to go back up to visit Craig because I knew what I would say. I knew what I had to say, and I knew how he would react. Just the same as last night, he would be pissed off at me bringing it up. I couldn't just ignore it, I wanted to know why. Doesn't Craig get it, that when your boyfriend, the love of your life, tries to off himself that you would want some kind of an explanation? How do I know it wasn't my fault, or maybe im thinking too highly of myself. Maybe this has nothing to do with me, and I really don't have any right to know about it. No, that's not possible. I deserve to know, even if it doesn't involve me in anyway. Whatever happened effected Craig's life enough to make him want to die, and I at least deserve to know what that was.

I took the last sip of my coffee. I guess I couldn't hold it off any longer; I took a sigh as I headed to the elevator; back to Craig's room…

--

I sat up in my bed, or at least as far as the blood bag would let me. I wasn't sure where Tweek was, but I was sure when he came back what he would want to hear from me.

_FUCK._

_FUCK._

_FUCK._

Why did he have to notice it? Hell, I thought I did such a good job of keeping my wrist hidden but...

I lifted my wrist up and stared at the white line running down it. It wasn't hidden by a bandage anymore, so I guessed that meant the doctor knew. As long as my father never knows.

_It wasn't even deep enough for stitches._

I laughed to myself.

_I could really use some ice right now._

That sudden thought shocked me a bit. Why at a time like this am I thinking about drugs? I thought maybe I could be done them, maybe finish them forever and live a long, happy life with Tweek by my side but no. Why? Maybe, I couldn't be saved from this. Maybe my love for drugs, is stronger then my love for Tweek?

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. How could I love anything more then I love Tweek? Tweek is my world, but then...

Why does my body tell me I need the drugs more?

I sat their, staring blankly at the wall for probably about twenty minutes before I realized it. There was no escaping drugs, is there? Not for me anyway, some people are lucky but not be. I couldn't stop. I knew I needed more drugs, more of everything. But, would I really drag Tweek down with me, or would I have to...

_Let him go._

_--_

I stopped outside of Craig's room and stared at the door.

_I have to talk to him. This is something I __**NEED**__ to know. _

I sighed and opened the door. Craig was sitting up in the bed, just staring at the wall. I walked over to him slowly; I didn't think he noticed I was there.

"Craig?"

Craig's head snapped up and he turned to look at me wide-eyed. Craig's expression calmed after he saw it was me. I heard him let out a slight sigh.

"Where did you run off to?"

"I just... ran down for some coffee. You were sleeping so I didn't want to wake you up but I didn't think you would be awake before I got back..."

I realized I was running my mouth again, so I just decided to keep it shut. We both stared away from each other, and I realized in that moment we both knew what had to be said.

"So... Craig..."

"Don't." I was a little shocked at his response. I thought that... just maybe.

"Please Craig, I need to know... I need to."

"Tweek, I don't want to FUCKING talk about it... alright?"

We stayed in silence for a long time. I didn't know what to say, but I knew what I had to say. If I didn't know, it would eat at me forever.

"C-Can... can I at least ask you one thing?"

Craig looked up at me, and for the first time in a long time I saw his blue eyes looking straight threw me, not at me.

"What?"

"Can you at least tell me... why?" I looked away from him, trying to hide the sad look on my face I knew appeared. "I mean... was it because of me?"

--

"_Was it because of me?"_

I let the question run through my mind for a while. All this time, what he was worried about is because he though I did it because of him? I smirked a bit, I knew I did because Tweek got the cutest confused expression on his face.

"Come here..."

Tweek hesitated at first, but he obeyed. He slowly walked towards me and as soon as he was close enough I wrapped my arms around his waste and pulled him in closer. Smelling his scent again made me think of last night.

"It wasn't because of you; it would never be because of you."

I felt him wrap his arms around my back and bury his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you."

I could barely hear him, and soon after I felt tears fall on my shoulder. Maybe he was happy; I'm sure he was happy. Because right here, holding him in this exact moment, I was happy too.

--

A couple days went by since me and Tweek's first time in the hospital. It felt like forever since I've been outside and I was getting sick of this hospital. Even with Tweek being by my side every second, I couldnt stand all the crying and the screaming coming from other rooms. The least they could do is make the walls in this fucking hospital thicker.

I was happy to be stuck in here too. In this hospital, I had no access to drugs. Well, illegal drugs anyway. They still brought my beautiful T3's everyday to help ease the pain, but nothing to make me feel **too** good. I knew as soon as I was on the outside again, I would be tempted, and in all honesty I don't know if I could resist.

I heard the door swing open and saw a doctor walk in, a clipboard in his hands. This _always _meant good news.

"Good morning boys."

He walked in with a fake smile on his face. I've seen this doctor a few times; hell I've even talked to his doctor enough and I still don't know his name. He told me a few times, but like fuck I want to remember him. He's the guy that comes is, checks how I'm doing, writes things down on that little clipboard of his and walks out. All that I know is right now he's interrupting me and Tweek's private time together and that pisses me off.

"I have some great news Craig."

Okay, maybe this guy isn't so bad after all...

"What is it doctor?" I looked over at Tweek, who seemed even more excited then I was. Honestly, I wasn't too excited. It's just good to get good news this time. I just hope it wasn't more of "you're healing up fine" because that got too old a long time ago to still be good news.

"Craig has been healing quite quickly, and even though he is still in fragile condition we have decided that he can be released tomorrow. We think it's better if he works off the rest of his healing."

Tweek's eyes widened in excitement, but for me being released only meant one thing.

_Temptation._

"Oh Craig, did you hear that! You can come home!" Tweek wrapped his arms around my neck, and once again I wish the doctor would just leave us the hell alone.

"Thank you doctor, so much!" Tweek smiled at the doctor and then looked straight at me. "Isn't this great news Craig?!"

I forced myself to smile. Yes, I was happy to get out of here. No more crying, no more screaming. I could spend all the time in the world with my Tweek, but... would I? The temptation is horrible enough as it is, and I haven't even been released yet.

"You can pack up your things for tomorrow." The doctor smiled and walked out of the room.

"Oh Craig, im so happy!" Tweek buried his head into my shoulders again, but this time I was thinking about something else. Something that shouldn't of even popped into my mind.

_What's going to be my drug of choice when I get out?_

_--_

Sitting on my bed again felt weird. It was soft, unlike the hospital bed. It was dark, unlike the hospital room. It smelt like dirty clothes, surprisingly better then the smell of the entire hospital. Tweek instructed me to sit down well he got my bags, and I would have fought him to the end about that if I didn't feel so weak from being out of the hospital. Or at least I was hoping it was from the hospital... or was it from the lack of drugs?

_FUCK._

This is bad. This is so so fucking bad! Every thought I've had since I got out of the hospital was about finding my next hit. I needed to relax, let myself feel better. Maybe eat some real food, and then maybe lose Tweek. Find a way to make him go home. Then I can sneak out. Then I can sneak out and find a hit. A hit of anything... hopefully a little bit of ice will calm my craving. Maybe I can start by cutting back a bit, and then hopefully I can stop all together. Hopefully then I can be alone with Tweek, without the drugs.

I heard a grunt and looked towards the door. I saw Tweek struggling to carry my bag into the bedroom. I didn't have that much inside it. I smiled.

"You need some help there?"

"NO!" I was a little shocked from Tweek yelling. I didn't even know Tweek **could** yell.

"I-Im sorry Craig, I just really want you to relax for a bit." He set my bag down and sat beside me on the bed.

"I want to take care of you for a bit, I want you to get better." He smiled at me. That sweet, kind smile that keeps making me fall in love with him over and over again.

"Okay Tweek, I'll let you play nurse for a little bit." I laid down and looked up at him. "But you know... if we're going to do this right, you'll have to get one of those little nurse outfits."

Tweek looked down at my, eyes wide open.

"WHAT?!" I started laughing at him; he looked like a deer in the headlights.

"YOU **CANT** BE SERIOUS?!"

"You can't play nurse without the right outfit!" We both started to laugh, and it felt like forever since it's been this way.

"You can start by making me some soup though, alright?" Tweek smiled down at me and nodded his head.

Even though he had no idea. He thought he was taking care of me to get me better. Well, yeah he was. But he was getting me better so I could get what I really desired. And right now, all I could think of was some nice cocaine.

--

Tweek stayed by my side all day. I was starting to get all shaky just thinking of that nice, clear cut cocaine. I needed to find an excuse to get him away from me. As badly as I wanted him by my side, I knew I had to get some. BAD.

Then, like a gift from the heavens, Tweek yawned. I came up with my excuse.

"You tired Tweek?"

He turned his head to look at me with tired eyes.

"N-No, im alright Craig..." He yawned again, and I sat up.

"Why don't you go home for tonight?"

"What?!"

_Common..._

"Your parents probably wanting to see you, plus you're exhausted. You should get some sleep."

"I know but Craig, I want to take care of you..."

_A little more..._

"You can come back first thing in the morning, im just going to be sleeping so I won't be much fun."

"Are... are you sure?"

_Almost..._

"Yes Tweek, go home and see you family. Im going to get some sleep, and you better too."

"A... Alright."

_Hook. Line. Sinker._

"Ill see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay Craig." Tweek leaned over and kissed me. After having one of Tweek's kind, coffee tasting kisses I was kind of sad to see him leave, but I knew what I wanted, and there was something I wanted even more then that.

Tweek got up and headed towards my bedroom door. Then he stopped, keeping his face towards to door.

"Craig?"

"Yes Tweek?"

"I... I love you. You know that, right?"

"O-Of course I do Tweek." I was a little bit shocked, what was that about? "Of course I know you love me, because I love you too."

Tweek didn't look back at me; he just walked out the door. As concerned as I was about Tweek, I knew what I needed. I heard him shut the main door then waiting a couple of minutes to let him at least get down the block before I made any move. As soon as five minutes passed, I got up and walked down the stairs. My dad disappeared suddenly again, and my sister was living at some guys house probably getting the shit kicked out of her for not giving good enough head, so the house was mine and mine alone. As soon as I opened the door I felt the cool breeze and suddenly I was freezing. After being in the warm hospital for almost two month I kind of forgot how cold it was in South Park. I walked back inside and grabbed a jacket and my old toque. When I opened the door this time, it was a lot better.

I walked down the street, I wasn't going to be stupid and go back to Kenny's neighborhood were I knew Tim and his crew would find me. I wasn't fucking stupid or anything. I knew a kid that lived up in Token's neighborhood; the rich area of South Park. Yeah, that asshole sold it for a little bit too much, and yeah that coke wasn't as good as the shit Tim has but I wasn't going to fucking risk it. At least the walk to this kid's house wasn't that long.

I bought drugs from him before I knew Tim, so I knew David would remember me. Just as I thought, as soon as I knocked on the door David swung open the door and as soon as he saw me a big smile appeared on his face.

"Craig? Seriously dude is that you? I haven't seen you in forever!" Then he started to study me, that's one thing I fuckin hated about this guy. "What the fuck happened to your face?"

"Shut the fuck up David, and get me some ice. Same shit right?" That got David laughing, why the fuck? I didn't know...

"You haven't been here in forever dude! We've got a lot better shit then just that lame ass coke I use to have!" I felt something funny in my stomach, excitement?

"What do you mean man?"

"I've officially got everything you want! Top quality ice, crank, pixies, ex. You name it, we've got it!"

My eyes widened, and I was itching even more to get my hands on the sweet freedom. David held the door open for me, inviting me to enter back into this world. This world I both loved with all my heart, and hated with the same. Yet this time I needed to, no matter of trying to convince me out of it would work. If I couldn't do it for Tweek, I couldn't do it for the world.

"Dude, welcome to paradise!"

And with that, I threw away everything I told myself over the past months and let myself embrace what I truly needed. My drugs, my escape from reality.

* * *


End file.
